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The Celestial Cavern

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1 The Celestial Cavern on 5th August 2011, 5:45 pm

Razgriz

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RPG Forum Staff

RPG Forum Staff
Have fun.

2 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 5th August 2011, 5:57 pm

St. Francis

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Plast! CEO

Plast! CEO
Naw, bro, it's good.

Length isn't really an issue here, since it's longer than all your other chapter sizes (except All Scars Have Stories, of course.), so I'll move on to the actual story.

The descriptions are short, but no so short that I can't create a picture with my mind. The tone was lighthearted, and I genuinely laughed a couple times at some of the writing. If I had to list ONE COMPLAINT, it would probably be the fact that there was a slight lack of dialogue in it, which really made this story in particular.

Other than that, great story.

8/10.

-Spawn


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[14:42:39] @ Legolover-361 : Notice the name Tom Kenny.
[14:42:48] @ Legolover-361 : Notice also the Autobot names next to his.
[14:42:54] @ Tyler St. Francis : I know.
[14:43:28] @ Tyler St. Francis : More depressed that the bro who does Fred from Scooby-Doo voices three Decepticons.
[14:43:39] Universalis Oves : XD
[14:44:06] @ Riglax : http://screenrant.com/transformers-4-serious-sequel-dark-moon-sandy-155194/
[14:44:14] @ Tyler St. Francis : "JINKIES, GANG! WE LOST SHOCKWAVE!"
[14:44:35] @ Legolover-361 : "ALL RIGHT, DECEPTICONS! LET'S SPLIT UP AND SEARCH FOR CLUES!"

3 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 5th August 2011, 6:01 pm

Razgriz

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RPG Forum Staff

RPG Forum Staff
Lucas cannot dialouge whilst half asleep.

:3

Kthnx.


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4 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 5th August 2011, 7:37 pm

Skarloth

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MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
Short, to the point, I suppose, but it's a prologue, it's not supposed to be much more than this. Cool start to a hopefully Cooler Epic.

7/10

-Skar


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The Grand Creation...

5 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 7th August 2011, 11:59 am

Razgriz

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RPG Forum Staff

RPG Forum Staff
Gah, it'll be cooler once I come up with a solid plot.

thank you ser


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6 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 9th August 2011, 11:55 am

Razgriz

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RPG Forum Staff

RPG Forum Staff
Lol Chapter 1 is up and easily twice the size of the prolouge


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7 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 9th August 2011, 2:03 pm

Skarloth

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MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
Awesome chapter, Raz, albeit short (maybe not in words, but I read it quickly). I didn't think that they would get 'Awakened' so early on in the epic, and this disaster plot hole sounds interesting.

Now, write chapter two already, I've been waiting for a whole SIX MINUTES over here.

-Skar


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The Grand Creation...

8 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 9th August 2011, 3:02 pm

Razgriz

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RPG Forum Staff

RPG Forum Staff
well of course.

Being awakened (rather, what's going to happen after it) is what's going to start off the plot.

:3


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9 Re: The Celestial Cavern on 9th August 2011, 3:07 pm

Skarloth

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MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
Ah.

*Skarloth understands now

-Skar


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The Grand Creation...

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