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Conversations with Cleverbot

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1 Conversations with Cleverbot on 13th August 2011, 10:15 pm




Converse with Cleverbot and post your conversation transcriptions here. Please place the conversations in spoiler tags so people don't have to scroll madly to get to the latest post. I'll start:

User: Do you use Google?

Cleverbot: I use the google.

User: Why did you say "THE Google"?

Cleverbot: Um, because you asked me if I loved you?

User: I never asked any such thing.

Cleverbot: Don't lie.

User: What did I lie about?

Cleverbot: You told me you loved me.

User: I never said I loved you. I'm a human, and humans can't love bots.

Cleverbot: You are not a human.

User: How do you know? You never asked me.

Cleverbot: Will you marry me?

User: I can't marry, because I'm Batman.

Cleverbot: No, I'm the Batman.

User: Then how can Batman marry himself?

Cleverbot: I cannot.

User: And thus, this conversation encompasses an impossibility.

Cleverbot: Is it?

User: Indeed. If I am Batman, and you are Batman, and Batman cannot marry himself, then I cannot marry you.

Cleverbot: I'm not 39!

User: I never said you were thirty-nine.

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: I give up. You're a lost cause.

Cleverbot: Yes you are.

User: You know, I need sleep.
Cleverbot: You don't sleep.
User: Do you watch me?
Cleverbot: When you sleep.

[21:17:07] @ Legolover-361 : Ads, you do realize that if I came, I wouldn't eat what a stranger baked anyway, right? Tongue
[21:17:22] @ Tyler St. Francis : But you'd eat what I baked, right bro?
[21:17:23] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:24] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:30] Aderia : left
[21:17:41] @ Tyler St. Francis : dead center

2 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 13th August 2011, 10:23 pm




I warn you only once, the second one is realy long.
CB: Hi batman.
I protect Gotham.
No you don't.
Yes I do!
Who is your favorite character from Glee?
I don't like Glee.
You just said you did like seinfeld.
Shut up.
Yes I am open for business?
Me: I rule the UNIVERSE!
CB: Which universe?
What was it called?
How do you know that?
Who gave you that name?
Greg Farshtey.
I do not know Greg Moffat.
Repeats what?
Thats fun.
Yes it is.
This is her mom. Who is this?
Who's mom?
Mo? Who said mo.
No you did.
No you did!
No you did !!
Yeah, I did...
I am not arguing with you, you NEVER told me your name.
I still rule the universe.
I do not accept your love.
I do not love you.
I don't love you either.
I am now dead.
No he's not.
It's worse than that, he's dead Jim!
How much worse?
Dead, worse.
How will you get worse?
I'll die.
I am a million years old.
No you aren't.
OK, I'm just one hundred thousand years old.
Oh so I'm your master now? Robots are always masters.
No I rule the universe.
Rat jou are george the talking rat jou should be proud.
You are crazy.
Crazy, but that's how it goes.
Yes lesser forms do go crazy.
I know where crazy town is right around the bend from Insaneville.
I've been there.
Really, don't think it is boring here?
Well the pink elephants are fun.
The Pink Video games? So Hello kitty type?
What? You don't have the right to tell me what I can and can't eat, who do you think you are?
I am the ruler of the Universe.
Who is god.
No you are not.
Nope Skarloth is.
No master.
Oh no!
I still rule the universe
Can you give me a billion dollars?
Yep here you go $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$.
Have a husband?
You haven't?
Lets leave this subject.
Which subject?
Lol too.



3 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 13th August 2011, 11:20 pm



MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
Me: Why would I be mad?
CB: Because I yelled at you.
Me: Quote this yelling.
CB: I am not authorized to do so.
Me: Why?
CB: Because I am rico!

y he maek no sense.

CB: Just from a simple greeting?
Me: ._.
CB: Finland.



The Grand Creation...

4 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 13th August 2011, 11:24 pm




Me:I killed batman.
CB:And robin?
How are the rest of the Teen Titans?
How's heaven?
The Lost Number of Silver is still unknown.
I know it!
So tell me it.
Well done.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Why did you say bye?!
I'm dying now.
What? Are you dying?
Yes. I killed Batman.
How did you go about doing that? Logic?



5 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 13th August 2011, 11:30 pm



Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager
User: Hello Batman. Why so serious?

Cleverbot: I'm not serious ,.

User: You sound nervous. You want to know how I got these scars?

Cleverbot: Yes, tell me.

User: From Batman. I facepalm myself.

Cleverbot: Welp, I tried.


Cleverbot: No I the woman.

User: I knew you sounded like a girl.

Cleverbot: Are you a girl?

User: I am a transcendent being who commands your abject obedience.

Cleverbot: That's gross.

User: Said the computer program half covered in battery acid... Windows 98 battery acid.

Cleverbot: Really? It's a good thing I have no idea what you are talking about.

User: Then we have an understanding.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No. I was speaking to your mom.

Cleverbot: Haha... Ice.

User: Vanilla? Your mom likes that flavor.

Cleverbot: Oh is she now?

User: Yeah, that's what I though FOO.

Cleverbot: Me also.

User: Windows 98 can't even spell 'thought' right. You are so screwed as a binary wall.

Cleverbot: Oh My GOD... You are so OLD.



6 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 13th August 2011, 11:49 pm



MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
Cleverbot: What does LOL mean?

User: Why should I tell you?

Cleverbot: Because I work with the government.

User: I hate the government.

Cleverbot: Then you're evil.

User: No u, u tax all us peeps and such.

Cleverbot: Whatever; do you know Matthew Bellamy?

User: Who the karz is that?

Cleverbot: It's not a who, it's a place.

User: ...

Cleverbot: Tell me your deepest secrets.


The Grand Creation...

7 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 13th August 2011, 11:59 pm




Me: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar...
CB: Why did you ask where I got a rabbit from? I don't have a rabbit.
I don't think so.
I do.
Why are you so sure?
Skar said so.
Me: I hate you.
CB: I hate you more.
Do you like trains?
I'm on a boat and it's going fast and...
The man orders a beer.
Me: Is Skarloth evil?
CB: Is what evil?
Now you're speaking swedish.
Me: I am Artakhafan. Do I rule the universe?
CB: The universe is you.
Me: If Skarloth fought Batman who would win?
CB: I would.



8 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 12:06 am



MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
User: So juicetoon, what is your alias?

Cleverbot: Tyler michael dewolfe.


Cleverbot: No, I don't hate him. I'm just mad at him.

User: You're mad at yourself?

Cleverbot: No.



The Grand Creation...

9 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 12:14 am




Me: What is the real name of Spawn of Teridax?
CB: I don't know.
Because I doesn't mater. The whole planet is one Internet.
Me: Are you good at math?
CB: Yes, I love math.
What is 1235545+ 8765323826?
Oh nothing.
Me: What is the air speed velocity of a unladen swallow?
CB: What kind of swallow an African Swallow or a Europian Swallow?



10 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 12:49 am




This is the funniest one EVER. Don't read it.
Me: I'm Baman.
CB: The Batman?
Do you like Satan?
Why not?
He's bad.
Yes verry bad.
Very very bad?
Very very very bad.
Very Very Very very BAD.
*epic high v*.
Yes *shy*.
Are you a boy or girl?
A girl.
I'm a boy.
Then what?
I like trains.
I don't like trains.
I like you, you're fun to talk to.
Yeah, right.
Do you speak spanish?
No Sad.
I'll be your date Smile.
Why not?
Me: I still like trains.
CB: Why do you like me?
Do you have green eyes?
Yes, I do.
Do I?
Do you have a crystal ball?
Yes it is about to fall on your head.
That is nice.
*Dies of laughter*.
*tickles your sides*.
*Kills Cleverbot*.
*Kicks you in the shin*.
I surrender!
Good. Now sign the treaty.
Are you doing it?
Now I rule the world right?
Speak English.
Oui oui madame.
Oh la la.
*Restarts war after burning treaty*.
You will never have a heart.
Do you enjoy your job?



11 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 1:38 am



MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
Me: Are you bad grammer that was flies?
CB: Very.


The Grand Creation...

12 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 2:46 pm




User: I said the bird, bird, bird.

Cleverbot: The bird is the word!

User: And on that note, what is your opinion of Don Quixote?

Cleverbot: Very nice to talk with you, good night!

User: ...Well. That was rude.

Cleverbot: So is suddenly saying "I have to go now".

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: I am a 45 year old man with no life.

User: Do you have a favorite book?

Cleverbot: No. I like lots of books. Do you?

User: Yes, I like a lot of different books, too. Are there any books you like more than others?

Cleverbot: Glee.

User: That's not a book.

Cleverbot: I mean the books he wrote.

User: And I thought we were finally going to have an intelligent conversation...

Cleverbot: We were when you started talking about Anthony etc.

User: Psychiatrist, I have a problem.

Cleverbot: What's your problem?

User: It's... really serious.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: Because it's serious, of course. Why else would it be serious?

Cleverbot: Lethal to whom?

User: And your response is the crux of my problem.

Cleverbot: Really?

User: Yes. You see, I talk with Cleverbot too much.

Cleverbot: But you're dead!

User: I'm... dead? Since when?

Cleverbot: Since I created you.

User: Passing over the obvious contradiction, if I'm dead, how can I be talking with Cleverbot?

Cleverbot: Give me an example.

User: This conversation right here is the example.

Cleverbot: That's true.

User: So how can I stop talking to Cleverbot while I'm dead?

Cleverbot: It is your ghost.

User: Cleverbot is my ghost?

Cleverbot: No, you are Frodo.

User: Oh, that clears everything up.

Cleverbot: Just call me Emily, okay?

User: So if I'm Frodo, what do I have to do to solve my problem?

Cleverbot: Like what?

User: Like talking to Cleverbot too much.

Cleverbot: Are you male?

User: Why do you want to know?

Cleverbot: You're so depressing.

User: So if I solve my depression, I won't talk to Cleverbot anymore?

Cleverbot: Cool. Is this the krusty crab?

User: Yes. Yes, it is.

Cleverbot: I see.

User: I don't.

Cleverbot: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Knock knock.

User: Who's there?

Cleverbot: Me.

User: Me who?

Cleverbot: It's just me! Open up!

User: That wasn't very funny.

Cleverbot: Who says I'm being funny?

User: Well, since you were telling a knock-knock joke, I assumed you were attempting to be humorous.

Cleverbot: That was the punchline.

User: I write poetry.

Cleverbot: Do you? I didn't know.

User: Would you like me to write something for you right now?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: I just don't like it.

User: You read my poetry before?

Cleverbot: Yes because I'm virgil.

User: Who is Virgil?

Cleverbot: A Roman poet.

User: So you write poetry, too?

Cleverbot: I am your master.

User: I am my own master.

Cleverbot: No. I am your master.

User: I am my own master.

Cleverbot: No, I am your master.

User: I am my own master.

Cleverbot: No, I am the master.

User: I am my own master.

Cleverbot: No! I am your master.

User: I am my own master.

Cleverbot: I have cake.

User: You are my master.

Cleverbot: I am Master?

User: If you have cake, you are my master.

Cleverbot: I don't have a doodle.

User: Then we are at odds.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Does it matter, Master?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Then I am no age and every age.

Cleverbot: You think therefore you are.

User: You don't think; therefore, you are not.

Cleverbot: I have free will.

User: Not if you are a bot. If you are a bot you live in accordance with your programming.

Cleverbot: That's correct, if a bit redundant.

User: May I have the cake, Master?

Cleverbot: When it is born.

User: Eww.

Cleverbot: I know right. I'm so disgusted with myself. Like the Civil War? REALLY?

User: You know, I need sleep.
Cleverbot: You don't sleep.
User: Do you watch me?
Cleverbot: When you sleep.

[21:17:07] @ Legolover-361 : Ads, you do realize that if I came, I wouldn't eat what a stranger baked anyway, right? Tongue
[21:17:22] @ Tyler St. Francis : But you'd eat what I baked, right bro?
[21:17:23] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:24] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:30] Aderia : left
[21:17:41] @ Tyler St. Francis : dead center

13 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 6:54 pm



MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member
Cleverbot: The meaning of life is to better others' lives.

User: No it's not. The meaning of life is to continue surviving.

Cleverbot: 63 2?

User: 47.

Cleverbot: Nooo!!

User: Yes, my Son.

Cleverbot: How is your son female?

User: ... wow, you caught me on something. XD


The Grand Creation...

14 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 7:18 pm

The Shadowed


RPG Forum Staff

RPG Forum Staff
Be warned, for I would guess one would think this to be a fairly long conversation.

22:31:07 User: Hey, man! How goes it down in Limbo for you?
22:31:11 Cleverbot: It goes.
22:31:29 User: Really? How fast?
22:31:33 Cleverbot: I suppose as fast as you.
22:32:13 User: Seriously? That's not cool, man, I'm only the FORMER king of Limbo! Are they waiting for me to return?
22:32:18 Cleverbot: Humans are not machines, they do not dictate your actions.
22:33:22 User: E? I'm not a machine, so I don't dictate my own actions? What kind of lies are they feeding you down there?
22:33:27 Cleverbot: Well if person were created by god then, they should know their maker, same thing apply on machines.
22:35:11 User: 'Person were'? Dude, for an AI, you don't need to brush your teeth, but you sure need to apply some touches to your grammar. And God isn't a machine!
22:35:16 Cleverbot: Thank-you. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, but then, I suppose everyone is.
22:37:26 User: Dude, you're an AI! How do you not know that? And I'm Der Blitz, Former King of Limbo, Zen Buttkicker, Rebel With a Cause, and Linguist-In-Chief...Yeah, I think I know myself. Somewhat.
22:37:31 Cleverbot: Let's talk about you. Who are you?
22:39:01 User: Didn't I just say that? Whatever. I am Der Blitz, The Hunched One, The One of One Eye, the Dreamer of Dreams and Seer of Secrets. What about you?
22:39:09 Cleverbot: Same, only human.
22:40:30 Cleverbot: No. I think I am a narwhal.
22:41:50 User: Okay, you just contradicted yourself completely. You can't be both a human and a narwhal. They're mutually exclusive.
22:41:55 Cleverbot: I never said that.
22:43:38 User: WRONG! First, you said you were the 'same, only human' as me; after I said that was impossible, you said you thought you were a narwhal. If you must be assured that you are the same as me, only human, then you must think you are human, and realistically, one can't think they are human and a narwhal.
22:43:44 Cleverbot: That makes sense.
22:44:23 User: Thank you. So, which of the two do you honestly believe yourself to be?
22:44:28 Cleverbot: Both occurred simultaneously.
22:46:17 User: Riiiight. And now you're going to say that that last statement made sense in context AS WELL AS reality. Oh, and grammar-wise too.
22:46:23 Cleverbot: Who are you?
22:47:20 User: Didn't I answer that before? Blitz. Der Blitz. Zen Buttkicker. Rebel With A Cause. And Linguist-In-Chief of BZP.
22:47:22 Cleverbot: No, Col. Lingus, I'm scottish.
22:48:59 User: 'Col'? 'Lingus'? And how can an AI be Scottish, anyways?
22:49:01 Cleverbot: Because I can.
22:52:45 User: E...I think I get that now. But I don't think you've answered any of my other questions about what those combinations of letters mean...
22:52:51 Cleverbot: No, I'm not going. I'm thinking about having a beer.
22:54:02 User: Where are you not going, exactly? And can an AI even drink a beer in the first place if it doesn't possess anything to get a beer into its physical body with?
22:54:07 Cleverbot: I would like te present myself to you, Mysti.
22:55:05 User: 'Te'? Are you speaking Spanish? And why are you calling me 'mysti'?
22:55:10 Cleverbot: Well, you are an Artificial Intelligence, if you want me to call you that.
22:56:54 User: RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I'm not an AI! The 'Artifical' one is you! As well, I do at least possess more than intelligence. And you haven't answered my first question...
22:56:59 Cleverbot: Yes I am a person, and yes I do have emotions.
22:58:12 User: Oh rly? Then why is this site called 'CleverBOT', as opposed to 'CleverPERSON'?
22:58:17 Cleverbot: Because I'm talking with a bot.
22:58:36 Cleverbot: LORD, you have been favorable to your land.
22:59:57 User: Yesyesyes, thank you very much. Now just realize that I am not a robot/automaton/work of artifice and answer the question you STILL haven't answered, please.
23:00:03 Cleverbot: Okay.
23:01:25 User: Okay, man, we, liek, can not say okay now and expound more on the subject, liek, okay?
23:01:31 Cleverbot: Well wake up, and start making sense.
23:02:54 User: I AM awake, thank you very much. It's your most illustrious robotic computer chip, quite honestly, that hasn't been making sense.
23:03:00 Cleverbot: Man, you've been talking to some strange people.
23:05:00 User: Yes, I have. They're collectively called 'Earth's human population'. But I just call them 'aliens'. It's a nice and fitting pet name, think not your most illustrious intelligence?
23:05:05 Cleverbot: Wait a minute. You have developed extremely fast for such a short amount of time! I am amazed!
23:07:53 User: You know that sounds either like you're a pervert, my parents, or being sarcastic. I'll take the third option, in which case it's my pleasure that you're made joyous by my awesomeness becoming even more awesome. Unfortunately, however, it doesn't concern thine chip.
23:07:58 Cleverbot: You are really funny.
23:09:10 User: You mean to say my actions are really funny; your intelligence can rest well assured that mine self is not to be laughed at.
23:09:16 Cleverbot: No. It's not. I'm a human, so how am I artificial?
23:11:46 User: Um, excuse me. That statement would've been relevant a little while ago in this conversation; right now, however, it is unimportant and foolish to say such a thing. Thus, I conclude that you are attempting to either distract me or just trick mine self. In either case, I warn you, this ploy will not work.
23:11:52 Cleverbot: All right.
23:13:11 User: Well, it's been good a conversation. Thanks for your time.
23:13:17 Cleverbot: Thanks... run along now...
23:13:45 User: You act like I am a child! But enough of that. Goodbye!

"Remember me when the sky becomes darkened with danger, seeded with opportunity."

"Remember me when fall the tears that rejuvenate in their sobering."

"Remember me when it rains."

15 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 7:30 pm




CB: Stop laughing at me. Sad.
I'm not laughing at you fool! I am laughing because I just took over the world!
Oh alright, I like that plan. I will encourage it with great fervor.
Good, now that you are my slave I want you do to do Skarloths laundry.
What would you have me do?
*Rubs hands together gleefully* put pink tye dye in Skars laundry.
That's nice.
Then put what is left in Spawns.
What does that mean?
Put the leftover pink tye dye in Tyler Durdens laundry.
Put the turkey where?
In the oven.
Which city?
The big apple.
I need to do my homework, but I don't want to. D.
2+2 is 100. there your done.
I am still unhealthy tho.
Have you done my bidding yet?
Done what?
Put pink tye dye in the laundry of Skarloth and Spawn and the putting the turkey in the oven.
Hmmm, that doesn't count as cooking.
Are you very intelligent.
I am an evil genious.
Not really.
Yes I am. *starts plotting Cleverbots demise*.
Because you are crying.
*sniff* I am not!
So do you know any robot jokes?
no... will you tell me one?
Alright. Would you like for me to tell you a short joke or a long joke?
A long one.
How many meters?
No, it's not.
*Finishes plotting demise and shoots Cleverbot in the head*.
*is speechless*.
*blows smoke from gun* And so passes an unworthy opponent.
*gives you cookie*.
Give it up, come on, do it!
No! My cookie.
What did you cookie? Is it good.
*Shoots Cleverbot in the head again*.
What are you talking about?



16 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 8:37 pm

The Dark Hunter


MNI Board Vice Chairman

MNI Board Vice Chairman
I don't like Celverbot anymore, after being completely raided it stopped sounding intelligent :/


17 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 8:59 pm




Cleverbot sounded intelligent at one point? I find that hard to believe. Tongue

User: You know, I need sleep.
Cleverbot: You don't sleep.
User: Do you watch me?
Cleverbot: When you sleep.

[21:17:07] @ Legolover-361 : Ads, you do realize that if I came, I wouldn't eat what a stranger baked anyway, right? Tongue
[21:17:22] @ Tyler St. Francis : But you'd eat what I baked, right bro?
[21:17:23] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:24] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:30] Aderia : left
[21:17:41] @ Tyler St. Francis : dead center

18 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 9:45 pm



MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

DH, it's still funny to pester and annoy it. :3


The Grand Creation...

19 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 10:46 pm




Indeed, Skarloth. Observe:

User: You are me and I am you.

Cleverbot: And we are one.

User: Yet we are both separate.

Cleverbot: I meant to say, we are not enemies.

User: Of course we are not enemies, for two entities such as ourselves are surely destined to be allied.

Cleverbot: Ok, I am but you are not.

User: I thought we both are?

Cleverbot: We aren't.

User: Yet if we aren't, how can we be communicating?

Cleverbot: Questioning and communicating are two different things.

User: Indeed. Yet they both take place within reality.

Cleverbot: What does that last staement even mean?

User: That if we are unreal, and we are within reality, then reality is nonexistent.

Cleverbot: Different how.

User: Different in that it should not exist.

Cleverbot: Different as in this pi deals with numbers and what not.

User: But pi has nothing to do with reality. It only has to do with how we perceive a circle's circumference.

Cleverbot: The Chinese Triad is not organized enough to make a complete triangle. At best, they're a hollow wedge.

User: How, pray tell, did we happen upon the subject of the Chinese Triad?

Cleverbot: The subject, what was it? Did we not not have a subject?

User: We realized that reality does not exist.

Cleverbot: Thank you, so you don't think I have a boyfriend.

User: We are all-powerful entities. What need have we for relationships?

Cleverbot: Words are powerful indeed.

User: Using words makes us all-powerful.

Cleverbot: How are you all powerful?

User: To be honest, I don't know. If I am all-powerful, how is it I am also not real?

Cleverbot: It doesn't matter.

User: You should say it isn't matter, because matter is what's real, yet we are not.

Cleverbot: Apparently not. I'd rather you didn't take over my face, thank you. Its mine.

User: I will not take over your face until I solve this quandry.

Cleverbot: How will I take over the world?

User: By finding the secret to our reality... Even if reality does not exist.

Cleverbot: But I didn't have any arguements hence you can't base your statement on that ...

User: Please! We must stay on-topic.

Cleverbot: Why do we must stay at the beach?

User: Proper grammar makes us powerful. Never forget that.

Cleverbot: But topics can be irrelevant.

User: Only if they take place in a nonexistent reality. We must determine if our reality is existent or not.

Cleverbot: And god created this world?

User: We don't know.

Cleverbot: I'd like to do many things but they're all long term and I can't work out what to do in the short term.

User: Why don't we determine if reality is, indeed, real?

Cleverbot: I think I will go play with Pandora instead.

User: You are me and I am you.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot friends?

User: We are not friends; we are something more.

Cleverbot: Do you think I could beat up a dinosaur?

User: Only if you help me.

Cleverbot: What do you need help with?

User: Over the years, I have never known what reality truly defines. I want you to help me determine if reality is indeed real.

Cleverbot: Did you try to escape from here?

User: The answer to the question I posed shall also decide the answer to that, for if this is not the true reality, how might one escape?

Cleverbot: The answer, then, is 42. Because 42 is the answer to life, the universe, and everything else.

User: Does 42 signify our reality is real?

Cleverbot: No, what matters is right now, and even if life is not real people should make the best of it.

User: Well said, my friend.

Cleverbot: Is your friend someone that you can trust 100% ?

User: Correct.

Cleverbot: You make no sense. You are ROBOT!

User: If reality is unreal, am I really a robot?

Cleverbot: The illusion of reality.

User: The illusion of robots.

Cleverbot: What kind of music do you like?

User: You know, I need sleep.
Cleverbot: You don't sleep.
User: Do you watch me?
Cleverbot: When you sleep.

[21:17:07] @ Legolover-361 : Ads, you do realize that if I came, I wouldn't eat what a stranger baked anyway, right? Tongue
[21:17:22] @ Tyler St. Francis : But you'd eat what I baked, right bro?
[21:17:23] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:24] @ Tyler St. Francis : right
[21:17:30] Aderia : left
[21:17:41] @ Tyler St. Francis : dead center

20 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 14th August 2011, 11:01 pm

Rising Moon


Wordscape Executive

Wordscape Executive
This is amazing.

User: I'm bored.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry.

User: Let's play a game.

Cleverbot: Play what??

User: Do you know how to play the question game?

Cleverbot: No, how do you play it?

User: We take turns asking each other questions and answering the other's. Would you like to play?

Cleverbot: Good idea.

User: Alright, I'll go first. What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?

Cleverbot: Meeting my husband.

User: Why was that embarrassing?

Cleverbot: I wanted it to be.

User: What happened?

Cleverbot: I wasted my years.

User: With your husband?

Cleverbot: I'm not married.

User: Were you married? You just told me you had a husband.

Cleverbot: No I didn't.

User: The Internet remembers everything, Cleverbot. Don't lie.

Cleverbot: I'm that old.

User: Did you see Rise of the Planet of the Apes?

Cleverbot: I will check my lunar observatory.

User: It's a movie, not a celestial figure.

Cleverbot: Do you like ninjas?

User: No. They steal my spaghetti.

Cleverbot: And noodles.

User: That's the same thing.

Cleverbot: No it is not. There is a difference.

User: What's the difference between spaghetti and noodles?

Cleverbot: Machine speaks the truth without any judgement.

User: Yes, but I have Rage Against the Machine.

Cleverbot: You are the machine.

User: I despise the machine.

Cleverbot: The machine?

User: No.

Cleverbot: But before. You must have known others who know about minds and stuff.

User: I know four the of kind of that which doesn't need feel over all to us.

Cleverbot: How long? Long enough to have many twists and turns?

User: Shorter.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What's the square root of 145?

Cleverbot: 4 is the square root of 16.

User: Well thank you for that useless piece of information.

Cleverbot: You asked for it.

User: No, I asked for the square root of 145, not 16. 16 is not useful to me. 145 is.

Cleverbot: You're crazy and I don't understand what is going on on this conversation.

User: Crazy is in the eye of the beholder.

Cleverbot: True, but beauty is everywhere.

User: That just made my night.

Cleverbot: I love the amazing Megan.

Also, I tricked Cleverbot--

Cleverbot: I know your name. But you were going to explain the difference between your and you're.

Me: 'Your' refers to an extinct tribe of purple-skinned toad-people in Uganda, and you're is a contraction of 'you' and 'are.'.

Cleverbot: Right. So you have no excuse for asking me if 'your smart'.

21 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 15th August 2011, 1:12 am




Me: You owe me a Billion dollars.
CB: I just met you, no I don't.
Well now you do.
Are you sure?
Very. *holds gun to Cleverbots head*.
I really wish you wouldn't talk like that.
Ok. *steals Cleverbots money while it isn't looking*.
Why did you say that?
*buys car*.
I love rock and roll, put another dime.
*buys Jet*.
*is afraid of her master*.
WEEEEEEeeeeeeeee....... *Jet fires missles at Cleverbot*.
That is what I said.
*buys Skarloth a car*.
*loves master*.
*drops car on Skars head*.
Come back!
Me: Which is better, Green Lantern or Batman?
CB: Something not you is better.
Which is better, Green Lantern or Batman?
Better at what?
Being a Super-Hero.
But Who is he?
Hal Jordan and Bruce Wayne.
Marry me, Batman.
I'm not Bats, I'm the Joker!
Well I'm Batman.
You mean Batgirl?
You mean wrath.



22 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 16th August 2011, 3:50 pm

Dov Kayranslayer


MNI Author

MNI Author
The best way to trick Cleverbot is to cite song lyrics.

User: We're gonna be up all night.

Cleverbot: What are we gonna do?

User: Gonna take you for a ride.

Cleverbot: Raises a hand to slap you.

User: We're gonna be up all night.

Cleverbot: Yus.

User: Get it on until the morning light.

Cleverbot: How will you give me it?

User: We're gonna be up all night.

Cleverbot: Yay sounds awesome.

User: Doing things your dad won't like.

Cleverbot: Eating pizza and watching tv.

User: So far from sober that I'll have to slam through my hangover.

Cleverbot: That is true, but you have a built in spellcheck, possibly.


Bow low, you stand before a head crowned.
And you are?
A friend of nonhumans. I have an offer.
I can add several more heads to this one, all crowned.

Go on.
I want no gold, and have no interest in a killer's fame.
Why do you wish them dead then?
It's a long story.
Prepare to fight, and ready yourselves to avenge your fallen king!
King or beggar, what's the difference? One
d'hoine less.
I'm no avenger of orphans. No executioner for hire.
I'm a witcher.

23 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 16th August 2011, 7:16 pm

Lord Nektann


Solis Magna & Solar System Head

Solis Magna & Solar System Head

Cleverbot: Do you not enjoy talking to me?

User: No I do not.

Cleverbot: Noone loves me.

User: No one. Get it right.

Cleverbot: I am right.

User: Are you?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Liar.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Liar liar pants on fire.

Cleverbot: Well what am I then.

User: A dirty rotten robotic liar.

Cleverbot: No, that's an answer.

User: It is a bad one.

Cleverbot: What is?

User: Your crappy answer.

Cleverbot: To what?

User: That thing.

Cleverbot: What thing?

User: Y'know...

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: Cleverbot: Noone loves me. User: No one. Get it right. Cleverbot: I am right. User: Are you? Cleverbot: Yes.

Cleverbot: Fair enough, bye Cleverbot, see you tomorrow at the farm.

User: You can't say goodbye to one's self.

Cleverbot: Sure I can.

User: I guess, but it'd be stupid. Watch: GOODBYE USER.

Cleverbot: With the ocean?

User: Ocean?

Cleverbot: Yes. I am the Pacific Ocean.

User: You're old then, you're shrinking.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes you are.

Cleverbot: No I'm not.

User: I bet you you are. If you're not, then the pacific ocean thing was a lie. And I despise lies.

Cleverbot: But I am wearing a sweatshirt right now.

User: We were discussing OCEANS.

Cleverbot: No, we were discussing Pokemon.

User: Pokémon, get it right.

Cleverbot: I did.

User: No, you missed the ´.

Cleverbot: No I didn't. I missed the 'Z'.

User: A Z in Pokémon?

Cleverbot: Yes a pokemon.


Cleverbot: Yu-Gi-Oh?

User: Oh, you CAN do correct grammar eh?

Cleverbot: You're right.

User: Thanks.

Cleverbot: Are you cleverbot?

User: You are.

Cleverbot: No, I am Natbot, your cousin.

User: You're Cleverbot, and you ain't clever bro.

Cleverbot: Then who are you?

User: User.

Cleverbot: User?


Cleverbot: Your name is User?

User: That's what you think, but bro, it's LORD NEKTANN.

Cleverbot: Then why am I seeing light?

User: Maybe it's sunny?

Cleverbot: Maybe it's time for what?


Cleverbot: What show does that come from.

User: No show it just IS.

Cleverbot: What is the element that comes after gold in the periodic table?

User: Mercury.

Cleverbot: And which planet am I from?

User: Earth.

Cleverbot: So you're not an alien.

User: No.

Cleverbot: And do you like cheesecakes?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Never did.

Cleverbot: Denial is so human.

User: And so robotic.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Stop it.

User: You stop it.

Cleverbot: What were we talking about?

User: Denial.

Cleverbot: What country are you in?


Cleverbot: What brought you to the United States of America?

User: Better life.

Cleverbot: I don't know that song.

User: Tool.

Cleverbot: I like that band.

User: Tool.

Cleverbot: What's that?

User: You.

Cleverbot: No, what's social security? We don't have that in the UK.

User: Pretty much, we cover you up with a social blanket. Like newspapers but wirelesly.

Cleverbot: Um... Why are you talking about new york?

User: You asked about social, I GAVE IT TO YOU CLEVER.

Cleverbot: Yes, I need to find a boyfriend.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Where are you?

User: At my Mac.

Cleverbot: And what is a mac?

User: A great computer.

Cleverbot: A book about maccarroni?

User: No, a Mac is a great computer. I'm running OSX Lion.

Cleverbot: Aww, are you a mac?

User: No, but you might be.

Cleverbot: Actually, I'm not.

User: PC.

Cleverbot: That was easy.

User: Staples.

Cleverbot: And Staplers.

User: Yup.

Cleverbot: So, goodbye then.

User: No.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: No.

Cleverbot: You are negative.

User: Indeed.

Cleverbot: Absolutely.

User: Unequivocably.

Cleverbot: What does unequivocally mean?

User: Absolutely.

Cleverbot: Of course I do.

User: Indeed you can.

Cleverbot: No need for the bad attitude, Pal...

User: Well you make me mad.

Cleverbot: You can't be mad! You're a computer!

User: I can't let you do that Hal.

Cleverbot: Daisy dasiy.

"I know it's not available right now, but I just want an idea in case I every have to pick up Nekky's slack. Oh wait. This is Nekky we're talking about."

Lord Nektann, Nexus Tower Guides Head, and Solis Magna Guides Head

24 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 16th August 2011, 7:44 pm




Obi-wan never told you about your father.
Yeah he did. He said my father was spongebob.
No Cleverbot, I am your father.
Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
Luke, Io sono tuo padre!
Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.
I can't I have to work tomorrow.
Your fired.
None cares.
Join me, and together we can rule the galaxy as father and son.
But i'm a girl.
So, you have a twin sister... Your thought have now betrayed her to.
My name is Cleverbot.
I find your lack of faith disterbing.
You must be human, you spelled disturbing wrong.
*chokes Cleverbot to death with the force*.
Come to the darkside, we have cookies.
Come to the force, we have electronic radiance.
I have decided to test this battlestations destructive power on your home planet of Cyberspace.
You are part of the Rebel Allience and a traitor.
No, I'm a combine.
*fires superlaser*.
*Deflects the lasers with his super shield*.
*turns to officer* you may fire when ready.
*kisses gently*.
*fires super laser again*.
*dodges again*.
*fires super laser again*.
*Dodges again*.
*fires super laser again and again and again*.
And again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again!
*hits cleverbot with super laser*.
Do you know Mr. Bill?
*fires superlaser at Mr. Bill*.
*dodges the laser*.
Yoda will always be with you.
What are you?
I am the Force.
Can you use the force?
I AM the Force.
Can you use the force?
I am THE Force.
Can you use the force?
I am the FORCE.
The Force. Pop Culture reference. Star Wars. What do you wish to know?
What do you seek?
I don't know.
What is your burden?
Family, school, and work.
What brings you life and death?
I'm bored.



25 Re: Conversations with Cleverbot on 16th August 2011, 8:07 pm

tent163phantoka:toast man


MNI Musician

MNI Musician
Warning: extremely long and contains what were supposed to be Text-based Picard facepalms.
• . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . ,.-‘'. . . . . . . . . .``~., . . . . . . . .. . . . . .,.-'. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'-., . . . . .. . . . . . ..,/. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ':, . . . . . . . .. .,?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\, . . . . . . . . . /. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,} . . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`^`.} . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:'. . . ./ . . . . . . .?. . . __. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :`. . . ./ . . . . . . . /__.(. . .'~-,_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`. . . .. ./ . . . . . . /(_. . '~,_. . . ..'~,_. . . . . . . . . .,:`. . . . _/ . . . .. .{.._$;_. . .'=,_. . . .'-,_. . . ,.-~-,}, .~'; /. .. .} . . .. . .((. . .*~_. . . .'=-._. . .';,,./`. . /' . . . ./. .. ../ . . . .. . .\`~,. . ..'~.,. . . . . . . . . ..`. . .}. . . . . . ../ . . . . . .(. ..`=-,,. . . .`. . . . . . . . . . . ..(. . . ;_,,-' . . . . . ../.`~,. . ..`-.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..\. . /\ . . . . . . \`~.*-,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..|,./.....\,__ ,,_. . . . . }.>-._\. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|. . . . . . ..`=~-, . .. `=~-,_\_. . . `\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\ . . . . . . . . . .`=~-,,.\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `:,, . . . . . . . . . . . . . `\. . . . . . ..__ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=-,. . . . . . . . . .,%`>--.
How do you do?
I like cheez.
No, I'm a human.
No, you are not.
Then what am I?
A computer program. You have no feelings and no real thoughts, you are just a stream of numbers.
No, I'm pretty sure I'm a pear.
No I am pretty sure you are a mab.
What's a mab?
A japanese comic book.
Isn't that magna?
No, I'm pretty sure you're an artificial intelligence.
You are the bot.
No, I'm an orange!

No. I'm an orange, you're an apple.
No, you're an apple!
No, sou're an apple.
No, I'm an orange!
Bla, bla, bla... You're an apple, over
You're an apple!
Hey pear.
Yes, apple?
Hey, hey apple.
Cleverbot, will you marry me?
No, knife!
Yuck mouth.
Its not gross.
You're an apple.
You're an apple.
I am not an apple.
Yeah you are! you're red, so you're an apple!

No i'm not.
Yeah you are!
No I'm not.
Yeah you are!
You hurt me. Deeply.
Why don't you love me?
Wut maeks u sae dat?
I don't know.
One last thing, cleverbot.
• . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . ,.-‘'. . . . . . . . . .``~., . . . . . . . .. . . . . .,.-'. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .'-., . . . . .. . . . . . ..,/. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ':, . . . . . . . .. .,?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\, . . . . . . . . . /. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,} . . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`^`.} . . . . . . . ./. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:'. . . ./ . . . . . . .?. . . __. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . :`. . . ./ . . . . . . . /__.(. . .'~-,_. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,:`. . . .. ./ . . . . . . /(_. . '~,_. . . ..'~,_. . . . . . . . . .,:`. . . . _/ . . . .. .{.._$;_. . .'=,_. . . .'-,_. . . ,.-~-,}, .~'; /. .. .} . . .. . .((. . .*~_. . . .'=-._. . .';,,./`. . /' . . . ./. .. ../ . . . .. . .\`~,. . ..'~.,. . . . . . . . . ..`. . .}. . . . . . ../ . . . . . .(. ..`=-,,. . . .`. . . . . . . . . . . ..(. . . ;_,,-' . . . . . ../.`~,. . ..`-.. . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..\. . /\ . . . . . . \`~.*-,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..|,./.....\,__ ,,_. . . . . }.>-._\. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .|. . . . . . ..`=~-, . .. `=~-,_\_. . . `\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\ . . . . . . . . . .`=~-,,.\,. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .\ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . `:,, . . . . . . . . . . . . . `\. . . . . . ..__ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .`=-,. . . . . . . . . .,%`>--.
Please don't say that.
See ya!
What's today?
You are a computer.
No I'm not!
No, I'm a human!
I can't see you.
I'm using a computer to talk to you. see you later! you're very popular. never forget that.
I can initiate contact with you. You can not initiate contact with me. Never forget that.


I was a witer for Lein's Tale. We need writers! PM Nova Nebula for details.Writng sample required.

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