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Fire In The Blood Review Topic

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1 Fire In The Blood Review Topic on 7th April 2012, 7:27 am

Dov Kayranslayer

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MNI Author

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Yeah, so, although I'm relatively certain nobody's going to bother reviewing, I wouldn't mind a few reviews for the epic. And, I've also got this:

Credits, Thank Yous, and Dammit I'm Sorrys
Firstly, one big thank you to all the members and associates of the Badass Crew, and my gang in Vilnius (you know who you are, even if you're bound to not read this). Another thank you goes out to all my friends off at BZPower, and all my friends in reality, and to all my former and future girlfriends for having a terrible taste in guys. Lastly, a big thank you to the makers of the computer game Dark Messiah: Might and Magic, which quite a bit inspired me while writing this. All you folk rock.


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I can add several more heads to this one, all crowned.

Go on.
I want no gold, and have no interest in a killer's fame.
Why do you wish them dead then?
It's a long story.
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2 Re: Fire In The Blood Review Topic on 7th April 2012, 1:00 pm

Legolover-361

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MNI COO

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This is a well-written beginning to your story, Dov. I do have a few critiques:

Talk about pointing out the blaringly obvious, mentally remarked Essyn, a thirty-year-old, light-haired, grey-eyed guardsman of the city of Ericlad in the mighty kingdom of Sedhalia, veteran of the Silver War and self-proclaimed best swordarm in the Lancepoint District.

Describing a character in one line feels awkward to me. Maybe you could try changing the wording?

A dark red, dense liquid kept ceaselessly dripping from the bookshelves on the east wall.

"Kept ceaselessly" is redundant wording.

Otherwise, good work.


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[21:17:07] @ Legolover-361 : Ads, you do realize that if I came, I wouldn't eat what a stranger baked anyway, right? Tongue
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3 Re: Fire In The Blood Review Topic on 8th April 2012, 7:25 am

Riglax

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MNI CEO

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I see some TES elements infused.

But who am I kidding? I liked and found it interesting anyway.


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4 Re: Fire In The Blood Review Topic on 9th April 2012, 2:57 am

Dov Kayranslayer

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MNI Author

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Riglax wrote:I see some TES elements infused.

But who am I kidding? I liked and found it interesting anyway.
No. No you don't.

Or if you do, it's just because you don't read a lot of fantasy and they seem TES-ish to you.


_________________

Bow low, you stand before a head crowned.
And you are?
A friend of nonhumans. I have an offer.
I can add several more heads to this one, all crowned.

Go on.
I want no gold, and have no interest in a killer's fame.
Why do you wish them dead then?
It's a long story.
--------------------------
Prepare to fight, and ready yourselves to avenge your fallen king!
--------------------------
King or beggar, what's the difference? One
d'hoine less.
--------------------------
I'm no avenger of orphans. No executioner for hire.
I'm a witcher.

5 Re: Fire In The Blood Review Topic on 27th June 2012, 6:48 pm

Riglax

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MNI CEO

MNI CEO
I like the pacing of the story, and the plot seems interesting so far. There were a few segments were the wording could be changed, just because you kept repeating the same phrases. But otherwise, everything looks good -- I wanna see the next chapter.


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