Lein's Tale Storyboard

So we came up with our basic premise:

WORKING PLOTLINE FOR LEIN’S TALE

Lein is a fairly successful trader, who works with his girlfriend, Dyra, by the side of a Bota Magna river. Lein makes a nice amount of money, but when an opportunity to make even more appears in the form of a bet, he -- with some prodding from Dyra -- takes a risk. Unfortunately for him, he loses the bet and ends up another struggling merchant.

In order to make more money, he has to start trading under the table; again with some persuasion from Dyra, he begins working with shady black market dealings -- and finds that he’s a natural at it. However, his conscience aches at this choice; and to make matters worse some Glatorian get wind of his illegal doings and seek proof of his involvement with the black market.

At some point his dealings result in a huge forest fire. Lein has to rescue loved ones and everybody else as well, while having the Glatorian after him hot on his tail.

The fire results in the death of one of his close friends. He spends the rest of his life trying to make things right, despite suffering depression and, soon after, a fatal illness. His deeds clear his name, and after death people speak his name with respect once again.

Yes, it's quite nice, but there's a problem -- that problem being a lack of details. We can't just start writing based on this -- we need to brainstorm what goes on during each chapter, the who, what, where, when, and even why of every event.

Now, I'm not saying that we should say, "So and so will say THIS in the chapter, and this other guy will say THAT, etc." What we need to do is list the events -- nothing too specific, but enough so that our writers won't be heading off-course.

That being said, we might as well start with a plotline that stretches over twelve chapters, and the prologue and epilogue. Start planning, guys!

* * *

Prologue
-We see Lein on his deathbed. His closest friends are around him. As he slowly succumbs to the final stage of his fatal illness, he thinks back on his life...
-It is two years before the previous scene, and Lein is a confident trader. With his girlfriend Dyra by his side, he feels content with life.

Chapter One
-One day, while out in the Jungle Tribe village looking for potential customers, he comes across a cloaked stranger, who offers to toss a leaf. If the leaf lands bright-side-up, he wins the cart Lein is pushing around, still filled with the wares; if it lands dull-side-up, Lein gets paid a sizeable wad of currency.
-Dyra convinces Lein to take the bet. Lein finally agrees, but when the leaf is tossed it lands bright-side-up. Lein tries to back off from the bet, but the stranger has friends -- friends with Thornax launchers. Lein is forced to give up his cart, as well as a sizable portion of his goods.

Chapter Two
-It is a month later. Lein is still struggling. With the loss of many of his wares, he must work twice as hard to keep his business afloat. To make matters worse, a small inflation has taken place, and he must raise his own prices to bring in enough money to pay for things of his own.
-Dyra comes back from an excursion with someone who claims he can help them stay in business. He reveals that his solution is black market dealing, and he knows just how to get Lein in.

Chapter Three:
-Lein and Dyra talk in private about the offer to get Lein into the black market. Lein is against it, while Dyra states that he should be ready to do anything to get his business back afloat. After a fierce argument, Lein reluctantly agrees.
-Lein and Dyra go to meet their contact, who promises to get them some black market wares for them within the week.

Chapter Four:
-We flash back to Lein on his deathbed. His breathing is shallow, he is sweating profusely, and his eyes are tightly closed. He reflects on how his decision to join the black market was what sent him on the path to death's door.
-Flash back to one and a half years ago. Lein has grown confident with selling black market wares. One day he sells a package of blowroot (a combustable plant) he'd bought just the other day to another black market dealer. He doesn't think much of it.

Chapter Five
-We switch to the point-of-view of a jungle Glatorian (name TBD) who is showing a friend, Surel/Certavus (TBD), around the village. It's early morning.
-Another Glatorian (name also TBD) comes up suddenly and tells them he had gotten the chance to examine a secretive caravan just last night and found some strange plant material which, after taking back to the lab and working on for a few hours, was identified conclusively as blowroot, an illegal substance for civilian use because of its incredible combustibility.
-So, the main character Glatorian says he and Surel/Certavus will round up all the traders in the vicinity and question them. He tells the other jungle Glatorian to round up other Glatorian and have them guard the village's perimeter, so the blowroot can't leave the village.

Chapter Six
-We switch back to Lein's point-of-view. He's bringing his stand back out into the streets. This time he has only trinkets on his cart; he expects this to be a slow day.
-A jungle Glatorian comes up to him and orders him to take his cart to the village center. Lein has no choice but to agree. But he's nervous; he wonders if he's been caught.
-We switch back to the jungle Glatorian's point-of-view. He's in the village center, looking around at the traders. Surel/Certavus and two other jungle Glatorian are with him.
-He tells all the traders to clear their carts of goods. Then he and Surel/Certavus walk around one side of the circle of traders, inspecting every cart they come up to; the other two Glatorian work their way around the other side.
-The first two carts the first jungle Glatorian and Surel/Certavus inspect are clean of blowroot samples. The third cart they come to is Lein's. As he and Surel/Certavus inspect his cart, the jungle Glatorian notices in his peripheral vision that Lein is fidgeting a little. They check the cart. Nothing is there.
-The rest of the inspection passes uneventfully; all the carts are clean. The rest of the inspection is done, but Surel/Certavus remarks that Lein acted somewhat guitly. The jungle Glatorian agrees that they should keep a close eye on Lein.

Chapter Seven
-No info yet

Chapter Eight
-No info yet

Chapter Nine
-No info yet

Chapter Ten
-No info yet

Chapter Eleven
-No info yet

Chapter Twelve
-No info yet

Epilogue
-No info yet

For the Epilogue how about it being set on Modern Day Spherus Magna (By modern Day I mean where we're up to in Canon), as someone (Vastus?) finishes his story about Lein, and his listeners reactions.
Of course that would mean that the Prologue would be Matoran/Agori asking about the history of Bara Magna (For the Agori, about the Bota Magna part of Spherus Magna). The listeners would be Jungle Agori and Plantlife Motoran/Toa as that would make the most sense for them being around Vastus.

No, no, no. It looks too much like the Origins prologue, and it will look kinda weird, if everything starts the modern day.

It can just start when it starts, just pretending like everything after hasn't happened yet. If you know what I mean.

Dark Hunter wrote:It can just start when it starts, just pretending like everything after hasn't happened yet. If you know what I mean.

We just start the story at Lein's time, you mean. I was thinking of that, but I've just thought of something rather different.

Perhaps we could start with Lein on his deathbed, and the rest of the story is in assorted flashbacks. It would really make the story more dramatic, because the readers are wondering what happened to Lein, and when he finally does die, they will feel for him more than they did at the beginning.

What do you guys think?

Mmm, that could actually work. It usually does not, but I think here it shall fit pretty well.

We could have him stoping, and saying about how wrong his was, seeing him leaving his heart open.

Riglax wrote:Mmm, that could actually work. It usually does not, but I think here it shall fit pretty well.

We could have him stoping, and saying about how wrong his was, seeing him leaving his heart open.

So here is what I was thinking for that idea:

Prologue
-We see Lein on his deathbed. His closest friends are around him. As he slowly succumbs to the final stage of his fatal illness, he thinks back on his life...
-It is two years before the previous scene, and Lein is a confident trader. With his girlfriend Dyra by his side, he feels content with life.

Chapter One
-One day, while out in the Jungle Tribe village looking for potential customers, he comes across a cloaked stranger, who offers to toss a leaf. If the leaf lands bright-side-up, he wins the cart Lein is pushing around, still filled with the wares; if it lands dull-side-up, Lein gets paid a sizeable wad of currency.
-Dyra convinces Lein to take the bet. Lein finally agrees, but when the leaf is tossed it lands bright-side-up. Lein tries to back off from the bet, but the stranger has friends -- friends with Thornax launchers. Lein is forced to give up his cart, as well as a sizable portion of his goods.

Chapter Two
-It is a month later. Lein is still struggling. With the loss of many of his wares, he must work twice as hard to keep his business afloat. To make matters worse, a small inflation has taken place, and he must raise his own prices to bring in enough money to pay for things of his own.
-Dyra comes back from an excursion with someone who claims he can help them stay in business. He reveals that his solution is black market dealing, and he knows just how to get Lein in.

Some more ideas:

Chapter Three:
-Lein and Dyra talk in private about the offer to get Lein into the black market. Lein is against it, while Dyra states that he should be ready to do anything to get his business back afloat. After a fierce argument, Lein reluctantly agrees.
-Lein and Dyra go to meet their contact, who promises to get them some black market wares for them within the week.

Chapter Four:
-We flash back to Lein on his deathbed. His breathing is shallow, he is sweating profusely, and his eyes are tightly closed. He reflects on how his decision to join the black market was what sent him on the path to death's door.
-Flash back to one and a half years ago. Lein has grown confident with selling black market wares. One day he sells a package of blowroot (a combustable plant) to another black market dealer. He does not think much of it.

Riglax wrote:All these are great. Interesting how he flashes back sometimes; I love it personally. Maybe we can have an other big Black Market guy, who wants to overcome Lien, and puts some soldiers to hunt Dyra?

Lien is forced to protect her, but he can't, and they eventually have to fight off him?

As for the current Plant sell, do you have an idea?

Plus you're free to start writing the Prologue.

First off, thanks. I'm glad you like it (and I don't have to spend any time editing the plot ).

Secondly, I'm not sure about all of that. Having another black market seller would be an interesting idea, but I'm mainly trying to build up to the forest fire that's the turning point in Lein's life. I don't know, maybe I tend to lengthen events too much, but it's easier to have that one event as the first climax in his life.

Thirdly, what do you mean by "Plant sell"? Do you mean the blowroot's appearance, or whom it's sold to?

Fourth, awesome! Maybe this will end up being a one man show...