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the legacy of the great beings.

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1 the legacy of the great beings. on 25th January 2012, 7:45 am

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ok im sorta writing a story on BNG but i thought i would also post it here seeing how this forum is full of writers so you guys may beable to help me in bettering my writing style and everything.

i will post what i have so far but there is more to come.

also i have problems writing battle scenes so any advise on them would be very appresiated.

anyway here it is:



Last edited by The Warrior of Jupiter on 25th January 2012, 7:50 am; edited 1 time in total

2 Re: the legacy of the great beings. on 25th January 2012, 7:46 am

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Prologue.

A dark cloaked figure stands on the edge of a cliff surveying the landscape before him. The night air was still; the ocean bellow was still even the dark foreboding clouds that hung in the sky were still. Everything seemed at peace for the first time in a very long time. But the peace was not to last. The wind began to slowly pick up; the ocean started moving; heaving back and forth against the rocks at the bottom of the cliff.

This being stood there as still as ever the only movement being his cloak as it swayed in the ever strengthening wind.

SNAP!!!!

A noise from behind him. A twig had been broken. He had been spotted.

In a split second after this realization the being swung up his mighty arm towards the sky as a lightning bolt shot from the heavens into his hand. In one fluid movement from the moment he had hold of the bolt he spun around and released it into the forest behind him. An instant later the forest became a blaze of fire.

Screams could be heard from within. Shadowy figures amongst the flames emerged shrieking in torment.

“Ah there you are.” The being whispered as he gave a small smirk from under his hood.

He stretched his arms out as two great swords emerged out of nowhere. He stood there as these twisted shadowy beast slowly moved towards him holding long thorn covered spears. They launched themselves at him, shooting high into the sky using their powerful insectoid shaped legs.

“And so the fight begins.” The being proclaimed.

Everything then seemed to go in slow motion. The shadows began to land right on top of him only leaving seconds for the being to evade their decent and their spears. But he jumped into the air and using the swords; knocked their spears out of the way as he kicked them to the ground while doing a back flip and landing back on the ground in a crouched position as the shadows met the rocky surface with a large thud. The being lifted his head and sprinted towards the fallen adversaries scraping his swords along the floor which created sparks igniting the large swords on fire encasing them in flames. He reached the shadows as they began to regain their feet but the being trusted his blazing sword straight into the left shadows chest coursing the sword to rip entirely through it and out the other side. The shadow screamed in agony as the being brought around his other sword and chopped off its twisted faceless head and by doing that the shadow evaporated into a purple mist before dissipating into the night air around them.

The other shadow rounded on the being and knocked him over from behind and as he hit the floor hard the shadow raised his spear into the air and brought it down upon the being stabbing him right into the ground. Over and over again the shadow performed the act injuring the being countless times. Then there was nothing.

The cloaked figure laid lifeless on the floor. The shadow began to bend down to inspect his kill when under the hood two red eyes sparked back into life as the ground around them began to shake. Fire erupted from the body of the being encircling him burning away the cloak to reveille a body covered in shining red armour carved with intricate inscriptions from a language lost long ago. His mask a one of a kind hand crafted mask of unknown origin shone with such intense light it blinded the shadow.
The fire grew stronger and more powerful before it imploded killing the shadow instantly. And as quick as it began it had stopped.

The red being lay on the ground only being lit by the still burning forest. His body was limp and had no life. He slowly opened his eyes as the rain started to fall. as the droplets hit his armour they hissed with anger as he was still producing heat.

“For the first time in my life I feel cold brother.” He whispered.
“I still remember the day we met; the day this all began. 2000 years ago.” He closed his eyes as he lost consciousness. His slivery heart light slowly flashing away in the increasing darkness.

“I still remember…..”

3 Re: the legacy of the great beings. on 25th January 2012, 7:48 am

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Chapter 1.
2000 years before.

A large figure laying lifeless on a stone table in the centre of a cold dark room. The only source of light was a small opening in directly above the table. The warm yellow light flooded in through this small opening and bathed the figure in its glow. Its arms; legs; body and even its head were pressed firmly to the table with metallic straps. A noise in the far distance, the sound of footsteps seemed to echo from everywhere and no where at the same time.

Then without warning the dark and lifeless eyes of the being on the stone table flickered into life. They shone a golden red colour and seemed to shimmer when they moved around as we surveyed his surroundings from where he lay. The straps suddenly open seemingly of their own accord and so the mighty figure raises itself to a seated position. Slowly he slipped himself off the stone table and onto his feat. Standing was new to him. Something he would need to get used to. He stretched to his full high, that being seven feet tall. As he moved he creaked and cracked every living fibre in his metallic body slowly awoke.

All of a sudden he fell to his knees, his body screamed at him in pain. Then a voice came to him. It seemed incredibly distant yet so close the voice could have been whispering in his ear.

“The secret compartment, look in the compartment. It holds what you need.” the spectral distinctly female voice said softly.

As the voice uttered those words a small door opened up on the surface of the stone table emanating a golden glow. The being hoisted himself to his feet using the edge of the table as support and slowly opened the secret door with his slightly clawed fingers. There before his eyes laid a peace of parchment with seemingly ancient writing on it but he couldn’t understand any of it. On closer inspection of the compartment however he saw there rested a golden mask.

The mask looked powerful and gave off a slight glow and heat. It had similar carved writing all over it. The mask was so wondrous that the being spent a while just entranced from looking at the masks empty eye holes. Then something inside told him to put it on. So cautiously he reached his hands inside the compartment and removed the mask. He then turned it around and in one quick movement placed it onto his face. The reaction from placing the mask onto his face created a shockwave that cracked the table and forced him against the wall.

Beneath the mask his eyes flickered all around as images; memories and immense knowledge and history flooded into his mind. His body; his armour began to change colour from gray to red and as the colour flooded from the mask so did carvings of symbols etched their way into his armour.

Power began to flood throughout his body filling him with strength. He felt warm and mighty. But then all of that was taken away in the last seconds as he blacked out from all the knowledge and power that was forced onto him in only a few seconds.

***

A few hours had passed and he finally regained consciousness. He stood up and felt good. He had memories; he had power and he knew information beyond anything he could have imagined only a short time ago. He picked up the parchment and everything made sense he could read it.

If you are reading this then you have already figured out what to do mighty Toa. The grand council wishes to speak to you as soon as you finish reading this. You know where to go and how to get there. Your journey has only just began. We await you Toa…..

“I‘m a Toa? Yes that’s right.” The being spoke with a deep voice. “I can speak as well. These memories, images I see make no sense however. It appears this grand council may spread some light for me.”

***

After a short walk down a few twisting narrow corridors that seemed surprisingly empty he arrived at a large metal doorway. He placed his hand in the centre and it opened for him. Behind the doors was a large room. There were six thrones against the wall and six chairs in the centre facing these thrones. In these six chairs sat five other similar beings such as himself and they were all talking but as he entered the room they stopped and sat still looking at the thrones.

As he walked forward he saw there were two female beings and three male beings. They all wore strange masks all very different and unique but all glowing a golden colour. He sat down in his chair and as he did six beings appeared in their thrones before them.

4 Re: the legacy of the great beings. on 25th January 2012, 7:49 am

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Chapter 2

These beings wore dark robes. Their bodies and faces barley visible underneath. Then one spoke.

“Greetings mighty Toa warriors.” His voice sounded both young and ancient.

“You are here to fulfil the will of the great beings.” Another one continued.

“Allow us to explain what has gone on before and what is expected of you as extensions of us and this council.” This great being sounded familiar. The female voice in his head that told him where to get his mask.

“In recent years our world has become corrupt. We the once great rulers have become hunted like animals. Strange alien beings known as Toa have infected the land with their evil and turned our people against us. In this utopian underground city remains the last small group that remains loyal to us.” The great being began.

“Your task as enforcers of the will of the great beings is to hunt down and punish those who oppose us. You will use any means necessary to achieve your goals. You were created for this purpose alone. Do you understand thus far?” The great being continued.

All six Toa nodded their heads in approval.

“I have a question great beings.” The blue Toa stood up and as he spoke he bowed.

“Very well speak Toa.” Another great being snapped at him.

“We have memories that don’t seem our own; we know so much of this world but yet we know very little about ourselves and our names. Why is this great ones?” The blue armoured Toa sat down immediately after he finished speaking.

“Ah yes straight to the point then. Firstly your memories are of your past lives. Before this day you were alive and in command of great armies on one of our home planets. After you preformed the will of the great beings and destroyed our enemies you were put to sleep pending the chance you would need to be used once again.” He informed the assembled Toa. “You were in fact the first intelligent beings we had ever created.”

“Now for your names.” The female great being spoke. “Our ancestors spoke of great beings from our home world. Each with unique powers and abilities. There for you each shall be known as their warriors. Stand and be named.” She announced.

The golden armoured female Toa was the first to stand.
“You shall be known as The Warrior of Uranus.” The great being proclaimed.

Next the black and purple armoured Toa stood up.
“You shall be known as The Warrior of Mars.” The great being proclaimed.

The blue one got to his feet next.
“You shall be known as The Warrior of Neptune.” The great being proclaimed.

The silver coloured female Toa rose to her feet.
“You shall be known as The Warrior of Venus.” The great being proclaimed.

The muscular green and black armoured Toa began to stand up.
“You shall be known as The Warrior of Mercury.” The great being proclaimed.

Finally the red Toa stood up mask shining just as bright as all the others.
“And you shall be known as The Warrior of Jupiter.” The great being proclaimed.

The great warriors had their names. They felt ready to do the bidding of their masters the great and powerful great beings.

“Go forth and fulfil your destiny. Destroy the evil that threatens our heart. And be known as legends.” One of the beings spoke.

“The will of the great beings is absolute. The will of the great beings is law. The great beings love their creations as their creations should love their creators.” All six great beings chanted.

And with that the six Toa left the chamber of the great beings on their first mission. To destroy the leaders of this evil Toa race that threaten their masters.

5 Re: the legacy of the great beings. on 26th January 2012, 10:06 am

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Chapter 3
1500 years ago

“Baaa!” The green and black armored warrior exclaimed, slamming his fist into a boulder making it crumble to dust.

“What is the matter brother?” The silver Toa asked calmly.

“I’m sick of waiting. Five hundred years we have done nothing for our mission. Jupiter tells us that we must have patience while we learn the ways of our enemy. He says we must strike them at their weakest point.” Mercury began.

“That is true brother. Everything must come to those who wait and the longer we wait the less our enemy will expect it.” Venus got up from her cross legged meditational position and put a hand on Mercury’s shoulder. “The time will come soon.” She whispered. “I can feel it.”

A noise from behind them made them turn and draw their weapons.

“At ease warriors. I would hate to have to kill you when the hour of our destiny draws near.” The deep commanding voice of Jupiter shook the air as he walked out from behind the trees.

“And you brother Mercury would do better to control your temper. I will not have someone who acts out of anger go into battle. Do I make my words clear.” They exchanged heated looks as they passed each other.

“Where are the other warriors Jupiter?” Venus asked seeing that no one else was approaching their camp site.

“They are throwing together the last pieces of information we need about the Nuva as they call themselves. I must admit Neptune’s shape shifting abilities have proven extremely useful in the pursuit of knowledge.” Jupiter stated coldly.

“It is nice to know my abilities are appreciated brother.” Neptune called out as he approached the site.

“Where are the others?” Jupiter snapped.

“On their way they were just behind me.” Neptune reported.

Just as he stated that the other Toa appeared with their reports. After sharing all information they all had on the individual “Toa Nuva” they began to formulate a plan of action.

“This is a map of Spherus Magna. Neptune has infiltrated the Toa’s defenses as a creature they call “Matoran” he has persuaded the Toa that deep in forest there are Glatoran that plan to kill one of their fellow Toa. This of course we know not to be true but they plan to stop this. And that is when we will attack them.” Uranus reported to the group.

“Very well I want all of you to make preparations for the arrival of the Toa.” Jupiter commanded as the group disbanded to fulfill the command.

***

Two nights later.

The warriors lay waiting in the coverage of the trees. in their view a small clearing where the attack would take place. The night air was cold and the wind was sharp. A noise came from the distance so Jupiter commanded Mars to us his x-ray vision to detect the heat signatures of the Toa. Mars confirmed it to be them.

In the clearing sat one small Matoran holding a small silver stone. Though this was not an ordinary Matoran and he wasn’t holding an ordinary stone. The fact was that Neptune would shift into a Matoran as bait and convince the Toa to touch this stone. The stone was a gift from the great beings. A devise that could capture the Toa’s elemental energy meaning the only thing they could use in their defense would be their weapons and mask powers.

The Toa got closer and closer. The warriors’ heart lights were as steady as ever. Their pray would soon be there and their mission would almost be over.

“Jupiter the Toa are turning around.” Mars whispered.

“What? Are you sure?” The red warrior snatched his brother by the throat and pulled him closer to his mask.

“Yes I’m positive. A small being maybe ran up to them from out of nowhere. They are heading away from us.” Mars explained as he gasped for air.

“That’s it I’ve had enough of waiting!” Mercury shouted in a fit of rage as he shot out of the trees and headed straight for the Toa.

The rest of the warriors abandoned plan A and went with plan B.

KILL THE TOA BY ANY MEANS.

6 Re: the legacy of the great beings. on 27th January 2012, 6:10 pm

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Chapter 4

The Toa Nuva ran. Pohatu was in the lead carrying the small Matoran on his back closely followed by the other Toa Nuva. The warriors were hot on their trail.

“Venus give us a storm!” Jupiter commanded.

“My pleasure!” Venus shouted back as dark clouds started to spread across the sky in all directions.

“Mars go around them undetected!” Jupiter shouted trying to be heard over the increasing wind.

“OK!” Mars shouted as he turned invisible.

By this time Mercury had managed to fly over the top of the Toa and crashed down into the ground a few feet in front of them. The Toa Nuva came to a stop. As the dust from the impact began to settle a large dark silhouette could be seen walking towards them. Mercury slowly stepped out of the small crater he had created. Rocks were orbiting him as he approached the Toa. His weapon; a great hammer materialized from energy that came from his hands. He lowered his head slightly and smiled slightly.

“It’s one of them I told you about.” The Matoran whispered to the Toa behind him.

“Silence little one we are not here for you but if you get in our way you will suffer the same fate as your great protectors!” Jupiter shouted as he landed in front of Mercury facing the enemy.

One by one the other warriors descended from the sky to surround the Toa. All of them holding their weapons; waiting for the command to attack.

“Ah finally we meet great Toa Nuva protectors of the Matoran; Agory and Glatorian alike.” Jupiter proclaimed arms out stretched.

“Who are you?” Toa Tahu asked.

Jupiter began to laugh as did the rest of the warriors. “We are your end. You and your kind are a plague upon this land and we are the cure.” He smirked as his twin great blades materialized in a burst of flame that ran down his arms and into his hands.

The first to attack was Mercury who jumped over Jupiter and slammed his great hammer into the ground where the Toa stood scattering them all including the Matoran.

Mars ran over to the white Toa and kicked him as he tried to get up launching him into the sky as Venus caught him with her poison whip.

The rest of the Toa were back on their feet and began a counter attack. Elemental energy flew through the trees weapons clashed creating sparks that few in all directions. Jupiter has set his target to be the red Toa. While the others battled on he jumped onto Tahu’s back from behind surprising the Toa as he thrust his blade deep into the Toas armor. Tahu screamed out in pain as Jupiter jumped off doing a backflip in midair and creating a lightning bolt shot Tahu in the back of the head just before he landed on the ground. The Toa was on the floor as Jupiter walked over. The battle noises were loud, creams of the Toa made Tahus blood boil. As Jupiter approached Tahu used his mask to shield himself from the warriors advancing.

“What is the matter Toa? Not ready to die. Your destinies not yet complete?” Jupiter laughed as he reached the barrier created by the mask.

“Who are you? Why have you done this?” Tahu spat blood as he gasped for air.

“My duty is to the great beings as is my brothers and sisters. My name is Jupiter.” Jupiter proclaimed as he stuck his sword into the protective barrier.

“The great beings are corrupt. They shattered this world for their own gain. They care for no one, they only use others. Stop this; join our course to get answers from the great beings.” Tahu pleaded as he flinched at every scream he heard coming from his brothers.

By this time Jupiter had shattered the shield and knelt down in front of the Toa so their masks were level.
“Any dying last words Toa?” Jupiter snarled.

With that Tahu shot a concentrated flame at Jupiter’s mask coursing him to stumble back. Tahu staggered up and began to run towards his brothers. The site that greeted his eyes shocked him. The Toa and Matoran were dead. Mutilated by the weapons of the warriors and as they spotted Tahu coming from the trees they began to attack him just as Jupiter came out after him.

“NO! This one is mine.” Jupiter shouted as he ran up to Tahu and turned him around; stabbing him with his own blade. “My mask will be the last you ever see Toa of fire. Know this. With your deaths a new era will come to pass and everyone who stands in the way of the great beings will die.” And with that said the light flickered out of the Toa’s eyes. Jupiter let the body go as it hit the ground.

“It is done!” Jupiter shouted raising his sword into the air. The other warriors did the same.

The era of the great beings had began anew…

7 Re: the legacy of the great beings. on 28th January 2012, 6:07 pm

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Chapter 5
500 years ago

The era of The Great Beings reaches its one thousandth year.

“All residence of the city must report to the great coliseum to celebrate one thousand years under the glory of The Great Beings.” A robotic voice could be heard echoing along the dark stone corridor.

“One thousand years brother. We helped this come to pass.” Mars said smugly at Jupiter as they walked towards the holding cells.

“All residence of the city must note that anyone seen to contact a Toa or Glatorian will be punished.” The robotic voice announced.

“Yes brother. It is indeed a glorious day.” Jupiter muttered under his breath.

“Why you seem distracted what’s the matter?” Mars asked puzzled.

“We have done many things this past thousand years. We know many things. Yet we do not know of our past before we awoke this lifetime.” Jupiter admitted.

“You aren’t questioning the great beings are you?” Mars couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“No but after these festivities I shall pay them a visit and set things straight.” Jupiter whispered as he opened the thick protodermis door.

The two warriors walked in silence as they inspected the captured Toa and Glatorain. The walked for a while until they came to one cell. Inside there sat two Toa.

“State your name and element.” Jupiter snarled.

“Jaller Toa of fire.” The red Toa said not looking up.

“Takanuva Toa of light.” The other Toa spoke.

“They will do. Bring them with us Mars.” Jupiter commanded as he began to walk away.

Mars then unlocked the cell door and using his mind control powers made them walk in front of them to the coliseum entrance. There the door automatically opened and they were given weapons and forced into the center of the large enclosure. Matoran and Agory sat in the stands cheering. The warriors left and the door closed. Moments later the two warriors joined the rest of their brothers and sisters behind the great beings in the spectators stand.

“Let the battle commence! A fight to the death. The winning Toa shall be granted a special gift. The chance of freedom. Battle!” The ancient great being shouted for all to hear as the gathered spectators cheered.

An hour later the lifeless body of Toa Jaller was thrown onto the ground.

“The winner has been chosed. Come forth Toa to claim your prize of freedom.” The great being announced. “You know what to do Jupiter.” He whispered. Jupiter bowed his head and headed to where the Toa would be.

When Jupiter got there the Toa was sitting on the floor.

“Get up Toa.” He growled as the Toa staggered to his feet. “And here is your freedom Toa.” As he said that his blade materialized and he stabbed Takanuva killing him instantly.

“Death is the only freedom from the shadow of the great beings.” Jupiter turned and walked away as the shadow enforcers the great beings created to help keep peace dragged the body off.

That night Jupiter entered the great beings chambers and began to converse with them. He explained all that he knew to be true and everything he and the other warriors had done for their masters but he wanted to know of their past. The great beings refused him this gift telling him that his place is to serve the great beings not to question them. He was given a warning that any more impertinence would cost him dearly. So the warrior walked away angered at the very beings we swore to serve.

A few days later the female great being came to Jupiter and explain where he and the others had come from.

Long ago before the great beings came to Spherus Magna they were part of a larger civilization that commanded many other planetary systems. These great beings they knew were scientists and were commanded to create the ultimate weapon for the up and coming war their planet was facing. For years they tried and failed until they decided to make a biological weapon in the form of supper warriors. They collected six willing beings and transformed them into these warriors. This shocked Jupiter to learn that he once was a great being himself. The war had begun and the warriors were sent into battle. After a few hundred years the war ended and the warriors were to be terminated. The great beings not wanted to work for anyone else and thirsting for power captured a ship and the sleeping warriors bringing them to Spherus Magna via a miss calculation causing them to crash.

Jupiter left that meeting knowing all that had happened and with a realization of what was to come. He knew that he would need to keep a distant eye on his masters.

A few years later while the warriors were on a mission the great beings began to construct another great robot for the same purpose as the Mata Nui robot had before.

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