[FoF] Federation of Fear Scripting + Development

The Federation of Fear comic is assigned to Tohkann. This will be the trial comic series for KANOHI.novus Comics. All scripting and updates on development will take place here.

Finalized scripts should ALWAYS be merged into this first post for clarity and ease of access.

Chapter 1
Page One
Panel 1
Vezon is surrounded by Zyglak.

Panel 2
Portal opens behind Vezon

Credits at the bottom of Page One.

Page Two + Onwards
Panel 3 - From Vezon's POV
Everything is blurry. Eye opens to see four shadows in a cell, standing apart.

Panel 4 - From Vezon's POV
Things become clear. Cell setting apparent. Four distinct shapes with identity shrouded.

Panel 5
Close up of Brutaka, saying what he says at that point.

Panel 6
Side angle as Roodaka graps at the cell bars while in partial shadow.

Panel 7
Brutaka leans down on Roodaka.

Panel 8 - Perspective view with emphasis on Brutaka's size.
Brutaka: All of you have something in common – you have all had dealings with the Brotherhood of Makuta.

Panel 9 - Closeup of Roodaka
Brutaka: Roodaka, here, betrayed them to the Dark Hunters, then betrayed the Dark Hunters as well – now both sides want her dead.

Panel 10 - Closeup of Takadox and Carapar
Brutaka: Takadox and Carapar over there are Barraki, whose armies were crushed 80,000 years ago by the Brotherhood.

Panel 11 - Closeup of Spiriah
Brutaka: The Makuta in the corner is Spiriah, who fouled up an experiment on the island of Zakaz so badly that his own people marked him for death.

Panel 12
Vezon puts his hand up with a confused expression.

Bubble 1
Vezon: Excuse me, oh brutal, blade-wielding, lover of gardening.

Bubble 2
Vezon: I have never met any Makuta face to mask and wouldn’t know one if he stepped on me and ground me into the dirt.

Panel 13
Vezok's face appearing in a thought bubble of Vezon's.

Vezon: I think maybe you wanted someone else ... I’m Vezon with an 'n,' you see, not Vezok with a 'k,' and --

Panel 14
Carapar already has Vezon's neck in his grasp with motion lines indicating the motion.

Panel 15
Carapar throws Vezon into a wall and says what he says.

Panel 16
Brutaka looks downcast and downwards, saying what he says.

Chapter one concludes with:

To be continued in Federation of Fear - Chapter 2.

I won't be a part of this as I can't draw to save my life, but there is a slight problem here. Lariska is the name of that problem. We'll have to come up with a look for her. As well, my idea for the water helmets is pretty simple. In the Barraki Deepsea Patrol playset from 07 had two of the boosters from the Axalara in trans blue. The transblue domes can be shifted into a water helmet. And the schematics of that.

I can draw though

Will I be helping with this, or am I moving straight to The Toa Nuva Blog comic?

Ehh maybe. This is the test run for the comics. Maybe a TNB will start

Yo! Hey guys, I was thinking about how Brutaka's helmet should look like.

Does this dome shaped helmet have to be glass?

I got a metal design for him already and I think It's pretty cool. Though he kinda does look like Juggernaut.

What do ya'll think?

Hey Tohkann, great to see you here!
If there hasn't been any sort of canon Lariska contes yet, I'll take a shit at designing her.

Dark Hunter wrote:Hey Tohkann, great to see you here!
If there hasn't been any sort of canon Lariska contes yet, I'll take a shit at designing her.

Thanks!
That would be cool. But Lariska doesn't appear in Chapter 1. And this is a test comic so we don't have to worry about that.


So about Roodaka's hands..... does she have any?! :><:

Riglax wrote:Hey.. an active member

Anyways her hands would have long black nails (you know the creepy long one who are edgy), and like 4 fingers?

Yeah I'm gonna have to make her fingers look like in the movie since the official set contains none.

Also I got page two almost done. What's left is just some very minor details in lighting:



What do ya'll think of Brutaka's helmet?

Brutaka is awesome, my only problem is that his mask looks fused to his face.

I'm not the biggest fan of Brutaka's mask. It should look like the original with a glass dome over it.

The only problem with Brutaka's mask is that it looks too round on the top. Other than that, great job, Tohkann! That looks very professional!

Ultra hamster wrote:I'm not the biggest fan of Brutaka's mask. It should look like the original with a glass dome over it.

Actually it was never said to be glass. That's what many think though. Also it's a dome-shaped helmet. A helmet can be solid you know?

If most people imagine it that way then it should look that way.
Also people need to be able to recognize Brutaka, only hardcore fans will see that and think, "Ooooh, that must be Brutaka!".
People who are not that familiar with the story should be able to recognize Brutaka from 2006 if he keeps his original mask.

Ultra hamster wrote:If most people imagine it that way then it should look that way.
Also people need to be able to recognize Brutaka, only hardcore fans will see that and think, "Ooooh, that must be Brutaka!".
People who are not that familiar with the story should be able to recognize Brutaka from 2006 if he keeps his original mask.

He has his original mask though. It's just that it is inside the helmet is all.

This could encourage the fans to look up how he originally looked, thus getting them more into it.

--Tohkann T.O.A

Tohkann wrote:
He has his original mask though. It's just that it is inside the helmet is all.

Tohkann wrote:His original mask should be visible.

This could encourage the fans to look up how he originally looked, thus getting them more into it.

It's not going to work that way, you can't expect people to discover these things on their own. That's why they replaced Bionicle with Hero Factory because no one could follow the story.

Well, he opens the scene by saying, "My name is Brutaka", so the recognition factor is kinda redundant

I don't really like how thick the lines are :/

No but they may get his name confused with another character, while they will recognize his face from the commercials.

He has a pretty unique color scheme- the only one who shares it is Tardix and I dont see them getting mixed up anytime soon.

Dark Hunter wrote:
I don't really like how thick the lines are :/

Please forgive me... that's kinda my style of drawing...

Seriously his mask needs to be showing.