Mata Nui Inc. | Plast!
Welcome to the Mata Nui Incorporated and Plast! Productions forums. We're two organizations composed of enthusiastic teenagers who want to entertain others. We all want to do stuff, whether it is making websites, creating publications, performing experimentations, and philosophize. Our current focus is to provide fun content for LEGO fans, while reviving interest in the BIONICLE fanbase as well. Here's a few links to get you to know us better:

Mata Nui Inc and Plast! -- Who are we and what we do

All our available content and publications can be found on KanohiJournal Publications (kanohijournal.com). More links on our specific projects can be found in the menu bar or the link that was provided above.

If you are looking to apply as a potential member, please contact us on riglax@gmail.com or bioran23@gmail.com. You can as well join the forums and contact one of the administrators for a job application.


Thank you,

The Administration
Mata Nui Inc. | Plast!
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
A meeting was held on Saturday March 24, at approximately 10:00 PM EST. The highlights of the meeting have been posted at the aforementioned link. If you have time, please review the meeting highlights.
We need judges for Lesovikk's Hiatus, which has now returned as a fanon contest. Apply here!
Get cracking quickly for now Altum Bellum chapters can be claimed right here.
The Grand Creation serial, part of the Ancient Chronicle saga has been completed. Shortly the serial will be uploaded to KJP -- a big thank you to all the contributors!
WARNING: Custom domain http://mni.supernovafire.com expired. You can all return to the base domain, https://matanuiinc.forumotion.net.
Internet Explorer 9 Users, please turn on "Compatibility View" to fix a glitch that prevents the last few drop down menu options from showing normally.

You are not connected. Please login or register

Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample

5 posters

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 8th October 2010, 6:43 pm

Skarloth

Skarloth

MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

Osavus and Invidior’s meeting sample.


Invidior walked calmly through the Great Being’s Laboratory, they had been recently working on their greatest creation; a gigantic robot, a prototype, but so far they had faced a problem, how would they operate and work on it form the inside? Well, Invidior fixed this problem with his gravity stabilizers, which allowed them to create gravity at any angle or elevation.

The only problem with this giant creation was one thing; it was too dangerous, the size and power were just too much, it could lay waste to anything in its path, what if there was an artificial intelligence problem or error? It could cause devastating harm to everything around it, which was why he planned to destroy it.

The Great Being stopped to sit down at a table, at the other end was the very person he had been searching for; Osavus, a fellow GB and someone he could trust, well, now he needed his trust, and his intelligence.

Osavus stopped drawing a schematic for the robot’s leg to look up at Invidior, “is there something the matter, brother?” He asked, noting the serous look on his friend’s face. Invidior looked back at Osavus, “yes, there is a problem, it is about the robot, we cannot speak here, there are too many present, meet me outside of the Laboratory tonight, late, after the rest have gone, make sure you are the last one out.” He said, standing up form the table, and walking away, leaving Osavus to ponder on what his brother had said.

***

Osavus waved goodbye to the other Great Beings, one came back, offering to lock up in Osavus’ stead. “No, do not worry about that, I have it under control.” He said, walking back inside the building.

Osavus shut off lights, one by one, until a hand stopped him from shutting off the very last one, he turned in surprise and shock, only to see Invidior standing there, “brother, you frightened me.” He said, taking a deep breath. Invidior released his brother’s arm, and gestured to the table they were at earlier today. “We shall talk here, there are others outside who might here us, and obviously they are celebrating about this horrid creation of ours.” He said; contempt on his face.

Osavus did not know what had gotten into his brother, but he did agree, this creation of their could be their doom, he nodded, and both sat down at the table. “So, what is it that you wanted to speak to me about?” He asked, putting his arms on the table with his hands clasped and chin resting on them.

Invidior looked around at the Laboratory, and then back at Osavus, “I am requesting your aid in a plan that would ban us from this planet, and our brethren. I am asking for you to help me sabotage the Grand Creation, it is a risk to all, the only thing I see in its future is death and destruction, so we must stop it from being completed.” He said to Osavus, who was listening as though he was thinking about something other than the conversation.

His brother nodded slowly, “yes, I agree entirely with you, we must put an end to this to-be chaos, but all I ask, is how you plan to do it?” He asked, moving from his seat to walk back and forth.

Invidior merely smiled, “I shall find help, even if it must be from some of the lowest scum on this planet, or even in the entire solar system of Solis Magna, I will find them. We need someone who will help us sabotage the robot.” He said, eyes darting back and forth to check the area for anyone or thing that might be around, listening.

Osavus also smiled, and nodded, “alright then, we shall find these Henchmen of ours. What if they want payment?” Osavus said with a frown, if that was required, who knows what they might want. Invidior looked at Osavus, “then it is payment they will receive, even if we must take from the other Great Beings.” He said, everything was working out fine so far, now all they needed was the help, and they would have to provide their Henchmen with the best Schematics they could give, it wasn’t like any random Agori off the street knew their way around the robot.

Invidior smiled, “Osavus, tell no one of this, not even another Great Being, even if they seem interested, we cannot afford to be betrayed by anyone.” He said, he thought to himself, that was humorous, the betrayers being betrayed, he chuckled, shaking his head, he stood, and left the Lab, Osavus finished shutting the place down for the night, and the two went their separate ways, neither speaking a word, not even thinking, about what had just occurred between the two.


Well, here it is again, open to CC of course. Tongue

Kazi out.

2Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 9th October 2010, 1:05 pm

Celu

Celu

MNI Board Chairman

MNI Board Chairman

Well I see some grammar mistakes I'll fix them but other then that IDK ask Rig

3Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 9th October 2010, 4:29 pm

Skarloth

Skarloth

MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

Really? I wrote it in word. :/

Kazi out.

4Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 9th October 2010, 5:23 pm

Celu

Celu

MNI Board Chairman

MNI Board Chairman

Well word sometimes doesn't correct everything. Wink

5Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 9th October 2010, 5:44 pm

Skarloth

Skarloth

MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

Was it problems with ; and :?

Kazi out.

6Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 9th October 2010, 6:03 pm

Celu

Celu

MNI Board Chairman

MNI Board Chairman

No not jst that it's okay

7Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 12th October 2010, 10:34 pm

Skarloth

Skarloth

MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

Okay.

Kazi out.

8Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 13th October 2010, 1:10 am

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Beyond, some dialogs not capitalized, it's Great work, and very accurate. It's defenately in.

9Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 16th October 2010, 7:40 pm

Skarloth

Skarloth

MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

Thank you. Smile

I'm starting to believe I didn't write this! LOL

Kazi out.

10Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 17th October 2010, 12:07 am

Legolover-361

Legolover-361

MNI COO

MNI COO

Spoiler:

I've proofread the story for you guys. Wink Remember -- a sentence includes a single subject and a single predicate. No more than one of each. If you find yourself including two in one sentence, break the sentence up into two via a period.

Also, when writing dialogue, do not do this:

"We cannot afford to be betrayed by anyone." He said.

This is the correct way to type it:

"We cannot afford to be betrayed by anyone," he said.

So what do you guys think of my edits?

11Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 17th October 2010, 4:05 am

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

I guess, I'll add this. I was planning for Osavus to be more oppose to the idea of henchmen and destrying it, rather that shutting down the robot. Although there's no problem since it's a sample.

LL's Version is the Official one.

12Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 17th October 2010, 8:11 pm

Skarloth

Skarloth

MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

Sad, it's pretty much still mine, just with edits.

Kpik out.

13Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 18th October 2010, 12:11 am

Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel

MNI Author, MOCist, Musician

MNI Author, MOCist, Musician

I like it, but it's a bit too quick. Everything seems a little rushed.
-Winnie the Pooh

14Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 18th October 2010, 12:28 am

Legolover-361

Legolover-361

MNI COO

MNI COO

Kpik Seven wrote:Sad, it's pretty much still mine, just with edits.

Kpik out.
Exactly. I really only proofread it, and changed the wording a bit here and there.

15Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 6th November 2010, 2:37 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Kazi... post in Bzp?

16Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 8th November 2010, 7:10 pm

Skarloth

Skarloth

MNI Board Member
MNI Board Member

It's me, back from the dead! Smile

Post in Bzp?

Kpik out,
It's me birthday tomorrow

17Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample Empty Re: Osavus and Invidior's meeting Sample 27th September 2011, 3:03 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Seeing as we are now following another strategy, and this topic is both useless and out of date, it is hereby locked.

Sponsored content



Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum