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Their Mistake - Storyboard

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1Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Their Mistake - Storyboard 1st April 2011, 8:43 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

Notes: Here are all the episode storyboards as they are now. They are open to changes as seen fit. Please read the character bios and backgrounds in the TM plot topic before this. Also, just because the storyboards are longer at the end, the episodes are not. I just went into more detail because it was required. Also do not assume that just because I don't mention a character in a certain scene that they aren't there.

Chapter 1
- Angonce and The Elder are introduced as characters at Atero(yes, it is canonically accurate).
- Angonce and The Elder return to the Valley of the Maze. Morkoth, Invidior(no speaking part), and Gaia characters are introduced afterwards in a GB council meeting in their Tower.
- Avi and Makuta, Angonces 2 robotic AI creations, are introduced as characters in his private lab and quarters.
- Protodermis comes to the surface. 2 Ice Agori discover it.

Chapter 2
- One Ice Agori dies when touching the ProtodermisThe surviving Ice Agori flees PD pool to tell the EL of it.
- The ELs call a meeting. Raanu, the Fire Lords aide, meets and befriends Surel, a member of the Ice Lord’s guard. The Ice Lord claims PD for himself and leaves hastily.
- Kyry, the GBs servant who listened in on the meeting, goes to give the GBs the news.

Chapter 3
- Angonce and Gaia are hurriedly summoned to meet with the Water and Jungle ELs. They refuse to have anything to do with Ice tribe anymore, clogging trade.
- Kyry goes as an envoy to the Fire Lord. It doesn’t end well.
- Melkor is sent to Ice Lord, although we don’t see this directly. (reader’s suspicion directed at Melkor by hints)
- Afterwards, The Elder, who went to the Sand and Rock ELs, tells of their new alliance against the Ice tribe. The Elder thinks that conflict can be prevented if time allows the ELs to cool down.

Chapter 4
- War breaks out. We see the first battle.
- The unnatural rapidness of the coming of war surprises GBs. The GBs call an emergency meeting. Melkor is silent until he is called up and banished for a time, because he chose and created the ELs. He seems angry at first, but quickly appears calm after leaving. He contacts the Ice EL.

Chapter 5
- Melkor meets with Ice EL and we see some of his plans revealed in conspiratory conversation with Ice EL. After meeting, Melkor’s thoughts reveal a grander scheme, but not the whole picture. He is pretending to secretly ally with the Ice EL to gain control of SM, but he is using all of the ELs for his aims.
- Kyry is sent by Angonce to get a sample of PD.

Chapter 6
- Kyry needs Raanu for his mission, so he seeks him out at the Fire Lord’s volcano fortress, and convinces him to help the GBs regain peace instead of continuing war.
- They make it near to the PD pool, but it is guarded by the Ice Lord’s sentries. Raanu disposes of several until he gets to the last sentry, Surel. Surel lets him pass for friendship’s sake. They get a liquid sample and hasten back to Angonce.

Chapter 7
- Angonce works furiously with testing the PD and calculates that the Shattering will happen.
- Angonce breaks the bad news to other Gbs, and proposes a solution based on Invidior’s old Robot project. The Elder places him in charge of project and Heremus in charge of building the Baterra to delay the Shattering and help build the MU. Invidior is left out of the MU project.
- Due to recent events, Gaia is given a position on the GB council, because of her loyalty and wisdom.
- We see the EL of Fire in his war-camp. He notices strangeness in the Ice Lord’s tactics, and is suspicious of some kind of conspiracy.

Chapter 8

- Angonce talks with Heremus and The Elder about how the MU will work, and making Matoran to build the MU. Heremus and The Elder see Avi and Makuta for the first time(they were previously Angonces secret). Listeneing to the 3 GBs talk about how they need a guiding intelligence fir the MU, Avi suddenly volunteers his advanced program for that purpose. Immediately after this, Makuat also volunteers to serve in the MU, and requests that he might have some sort of creating job(the Makuta species). After off-hand comments by Heremus about them, Angonce renames them “Mata Nui” and “Teridax”.
- Raanu, now staying with the GBs, sees the MU and the Baterra being constructed.

Chapter 9
- Months into the war, The Elder, Angonce, and Gaia go to Ater in response to a supposed message from some Agori leaders who want to stop following the ELs. The arena city is like a deserted ghost town, battle worn and ransacked.
- It is a trick, and Melkor ambushes them, challenging The Elder to single combat. Melkor wins, and commands that he be made leader of the GBs. The Elder of course refuses, and Melkor kills him.
- Angonce and Gaia fight Melkor in the Arena Magna. Melkor Teleports away, and Angonce follows him. They both end up on the top of the GBs’ tower. Battle ensues, and Angonce succeeds in knocking Melkor off of the tower, who falls to the ground; he is presumed dead.

Chapter 10

- Angonce and Gaia return to tell the other GBs of The Elder’s death. While he isn’t the formal leader(The Elder was not compkete leader either; just the most respected council member), the other GBs look to Angonce to complete the MU, which is nearly done.
- We see that Melkor survived with the aid of the Sand EL cushioning his fall, as he planned. The Sand EL reports that he has carried out Melkor’s latest instructions, joining with the Rock tribe in severly weakening(but not destroying) the Ice tribe’s defenses around the PD pool(another pretended secret alliance between Melkor and an EL). Melkor kills the Sand Lord, his usefulness over. Melkor mentally predicts that the next step of his plan will happen- the Fire Lord will try to take the PD pool.
- The EL of Fire musus on how the war is going, such as the unexpectedly furious battle between the Jungle and Water tribes, weakening them in the broader scope of the war. Afetr assessing events, he gambles that Melkor is influencing all the ELs in different ways. He decides to do what he thinks Melkor will least expect, attack and seize the PD pool.

Chapter 11

- Angonce forges the Ignika as a backup life support for Mata Nui. He sees to the last details of the MU. He finally integrates Avi’s and Makuta’s AIs into their 2 different forms in the MU. He wipes both their memories except for their sense of purpose and the knowledge of their jobs.
-Gaia persuades him to send Kyry and Raanu to try and convince the Ice Lord to peace, thinking that it might end the war. The Ice Lord still holds the PD pool. Angonce gives them a newly invented communication device to report back on.
- The 2 Agori arrive, but only to see the pool captured and starting to be tapped by the Fire tribe. They inform Angonce; he orders them to get to the MU before it is too late.
-The Ice EL realizes Melkors hand in all of this.
-The Shattering starts.

Chapter 12
- Kyry and Raanu try to get back to Angonce as fast as they can.
- Angonce waits as long as he can, but the GBs and the MU have to leave. At the last minute, Angonce decides to stay behind and watch over SM and see if the MU project succeeds. Gaia pleadingly tries to dissuade him, but he is committed to SM and its people. He and Gaia say their goodbyes, and Gaia promises to return to Angonce someday. She and the other GBs disappear to an unknown place.
-Before the MU leaves, Melkor secretly enters it and goes to the control room, being sure to avoid the 2 Glatorian that Angonce assigned there. When looking at the MU’s schematics, he discovers Invidior’s tampering of the MU- i.e. the Rocket booster glitch making the Red Star necessary, the gender glitch, and the Makuata Shadow glitch. The last glitch, he decides to incorporate into his complex plan of SM control(remember his whole plan stays partially secret so it can continue in The Yesterday Quest). He puts a virus into one particular Makuat’s AI- Teridax. This will make him able to later form his Plan to bring down Mata Nui.
-Melkor takes a new name and a new form s a disguise. He will secretly watch his devious scheme unfold in the MU.
- Raanu and Kyry watch the MU leave. The Shattering goes off, and the MU leaves following the RS.



Last edited by GoldenTahu on 17th July 2011, 10:59 am; edited 2 times in total

2Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 1st April 2011, 9:01 pm

Legolover-361

Legolover-361

MNI COO

MNI COO

So. This is pretty cool from what I'm seeing. I really like the plot going on here -- elements of suspense and mystery intertwined into what is bound to be an awesome podcast.

3Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 2nd April 2011, 3:38 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

Thanks LL! Also another side note, I mat not have mentioned it much, but it is safe to say that most scenes with Angonce will involve some character development between him wand Gaia.

4Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 2nd April 2011, 3:49 pm

HahliNuva

HahliNuva

AC 3D Modelling Leader

AC 3D Modelling Leader

These look great, GT! I think that this podcast will be great. Smile

HN

5Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Developing chars? 2nd April 2011, 4:49 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Awesome, awesome. I like how Melkor is the GB in disguise.

Anyways, shouldn't we be developing the characters?

6Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 2nd April 2011, 5:44 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

ATLAS wrote: Awesome, awesome. I like how Melkor is the GB in disguise.

Anyways, shouldn't we be developing the characters?

Yes, character development is important in TM. The ELs, Angonce, Gaia, Avi, Makuta, and even Melkor in his own twisted way, will experience some sort of change in it. The character development plans, by and large, are in the plot topic. If these storyboards are now approved, I guess I'll go ahead and begin writing?

7Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 3rd April 2011, 6:17 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Actually, character development is important in every serial. It might be irrelevant here, since it's only written by you, and you know what each char will be. But in other serials, people don't always know the character all that well, that's why we have bios and such.

8Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 4th April 2011, 9:56 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

I am almost finished with Chapter 1. Will be up either tomorrow or the day after. Alien

9Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 5th April 2011, 10:51 am

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

I happen to read a conversation between you and Celu. Your free to make Angonce change forms, or say he has ''forgotten'' about his true form, but you must at least mention he usually appears by his MOC form, found in the MOCs forum.

So yeah, to say canon, no humans in Bionicle please.

dat's all.

10Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 5th April 2011, 12:47 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

Mata Nui Inc. wrote:I happen to read a conversation between you and Celu. Your free to make Angonce change forms, or say he has ''forgotten'' about his true form, but you must at least mention he usually appears by his MOC form, found in the MOCs forum.

So yeah, to say canon, no humans in Bionicle please.

dat's all.
Wait, I'm a bit confused. Did you just say that a human form is permissible sometimes, or not at all?

If it is allowed, I would make a side remark about the GBs observing humans in an alternate dimension(I have changed that paragraph about Angonce since I showed it to Celu). And there is nothing about it that conflicts with canon, it is just a radical notion. The locations in Bionicle haven't to my knowledge been described as being a in a separate universe, storywise.It would make the bond between reader and Angonce stronger.

But of course, it isn't necessary for the story. And that MOC form,(thankfully) I will easily be able to use, because another form he likes to take is a Skrall, which looks like that MOC. So is the human guise sanctioned or not?

11Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 5th April 2011, 2:33 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

GoldenTahu wrote:
Mata Nui Inc. wrote:I happen to read a conversation between you and Celu. Your free to make Angonce change forms, or say he has ''forgotten'' about his true form, but you must at least mention he usually appears by his MOC form, found in the MOCs forum.

So yeah, to say canon, no humans in Bionicle please.

dat's all.
Wait, I'm a bit confused. Did you just say that a human form is permissible sometimes, or not at all?

If it is allowed, I would make a side remark about the GBs observing humans in an alternate dimension(I have changed that paragraph about Angonce since I showed it to Celu). And there is nothing about it that conflicts with canon, it is just a radical notion. The locations in Bionicle haven't to my knowledge been described as being a in a separate universe, storywise.It would make the bond between reader and Angonce stronger.

But of course, it isn't necessary for the story. And that MOC form,(thankfully) I will easily be able to use, because another form he likes to take is a Skrall, which looks like that MOC. So is the human guise sanctioned or not?

I meant you can imply the GBs had an alien "original" form, but you can specify it, or say it's human. Tongue

12Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 3rd June 2011, 5:05 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

I would like to point out a slight difference between the chapter 3 storyboard and the actual chapter. In the storyboard The Elder is portrayed as optimistic that the crisis will cool down. I reversed his feeling toward that in the chapter, making Gaia the slightly optimistic one. I found that this worked better for the foreboding nature of the chapter, as well as complementing Gaia's innocent character.

13Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 15th July 2011, 6:16 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

Can I split chapter 5 into 2 chapters? The way it is now I realize that it will be VERY long, even for me, unless split.

14Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 16th July 2011, 6:53 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Yeah, but don't make the story drag along too much. It might get boring, even if the plot's awesome.

15Their Mistake - Storyboard Empty Re: Their Mistake - Storyboard 16th July 2011, 6:56 pm

GoldenTahu

GoldenTahu

Their Mistake Story Manager

Their Mistake Story Manager

Ok, I'll do my best. Chapter 5 will be mostly a "reveal" topic for Melkor. Chapter 6 will be more action oriented, as Kyry and Raanu go on their mission to get a PD sample.

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