Wazup, everyone? I'm GT and I'm new here. Rigs hired me to write the plot and script for Their Mistake. I'm a writer for BNG(the RPG project specifically), and a member of BZP, and BS01, and I'm glad to be working with you all. Now let's cut to the chase, and get to the plot.
General Story - The Element Lords are created in the GB’s lab(prologue). Spherus Magna is peaceful, and the Element Lords rule it, while the GB’s keep to themselves and their experiments, but they still keep a watchful eye on events. Protodermis is discovered, and the EL of Ice, to the GB’s surprise, claims it for himself. The GBs send ambassadors to the ELs(some of the main characters) to try to resolve the situation. But they are unsuccessful and the EL of Ice begins the war with the EL of Fire, and the others all follow. As the war escalates, 2 Agori are sent to collect a sample of the liquid. After testing, the GBs come to the conclusion of the Shattering. Angonce commissions the building of the Mata Nui robot, based on Invidior’s original design. Eventually, the shattering comes and the GBs all leave except for Angonce.
Now, this is going to be a more character driven story, the reason why the above plot may seem a bit sparse and plain. Here are character bios and what they will do:
The Element Lords - All 6 ELs, each with their own personalities.
Ice- Cold, harsh, and selfish. Cruel.
Fire- Impatient and brooding, yet cunning. His temper is mighty when roused.
Water- Quiet, always looking for the easy path and her own people’s interests.
Jungle- Usually agrees with Water, and doesn’t usually agree with Fire and Ice, as their elements can kill plants.
Rock- Simple, plain, and always states his intentions and what he thinks; easily influenced.
Sand- Has a shifting personality; he doesn’t like adverse situations. He is wary of Water, and tries to predict her thoughts.
They all are territorial and when the EL of Ice and Fire start the Core War, they all become enemies, some with unsteady alliances.
Invidior - A minor character who we see in the first episode, and who we later Melkor discovers of his tampering with Mata Nui; Insane and reclusive.
The Elder (Raeir) - The head of the GB counsel in their Tower. He is wise and calm at all times. Melkor resents him for his banishment, even though it was his plan.
Morkoth - The story’s main villain. He seems reckless and brash, but he is very cunning. He creates the ELs, and is held responsible for the war they start. He is banished, but we find out that this is all part of his plan. He has secretly wanted control of the GBs and SM, and he actually instigates the war, starting with the Fire and Ice EL. During the war(and his exile) he secretly controls events to suit his purposes. When the Great Spirit is being built, he secretly watches Invidior compromise the Mata Nui robot, and after Invidior has put a corruption glitch in the Makuta, he has an idea. He implants a virus in one particular Makuta, Teridax, Angonces original creation, that will not only make him susceptible to shadow, but make him able to form his complex Plan that will bring Mata Nui down. At one point late in the war’s progression(and his plan’s influence over events), Melkor kills The Elder GB for revenge, and fights Angonce after being challenged by him. He fakes his own death in the fight, so that he can enter Mata Nui as he is leaving the planet, so as to observe his devious and twisted handiwork, unknown to anyone. His aims, other than SM domination and the failure of the Mata Nui Robot, are hinted at, but mostly hidden through the whole story, so it can continue in Greg’s serials(Morkorth's that new GB in disguise, dontcha know).
Angonce- The story’s main character. He is youthful seeming(although all GBs are ancient). He is a prominent GB, very honest and morally driven. He is the one who commissions the building of the Mata Nui robot, and forges the Ignika, and tries to counteract Melkor’s devious actions. Angonce is a personal friend with many of the other characters. He is the GB that works the hardest to save SM, and tries to bring back peace. But eventually he turns his efforts to the Mata Nui robot to save what is left of SM. He challenges Melkor to combat after Melkor kills The Elder. When the shattering comes, he chooses at the last moment to stay behind to look after the world until Mata Nui and the other GBs return.
Heremus- A minor character; a GB that is assigned to build the Baterra, who inspirer’s Avi’s new name.
Avi(renamed Mata Nui)- An advanced AI(artificial intelligence) that Angonce created for a companion before the Core War; the counterpart of Makuta(this is where the “brother of Mata Nui” reference comes from). He is always seeking to help, and is cheerful. He helps Angonce forge the Ignika. When Angonce needs an intelligence to control the Great Robot, Avi volunteers. He is renamed by Angonce when Heremus say that Avi will become a the Mata Nui(Great Spirit) of the MU.
Makuta(renamed Teridax)- An advanced AI that Angonce created before the Core War; the counterpart of Avi(Mata Nui). Makuta is loyal to Angonce and does his bidding. He is often more quiet brooding about things than Avi, and will stay silent for a long time thinking about things. He helps Angonce forge the Ignika. He volunteers to be a helper in the new MU. He is tainted by Invidior and Melkor in cryosleep when waiting to be awakened in the MU.
Gaia- The female skrall that Angonce gave increased powers to. She lives with and serves the GBs, and is Angonces best and closest friend. He confides in her even more than his own 2 creations, Makuta and Avi. Because of the troubled times, and her great mental capacity, wisdom, and loyalty, she is offered a seat on the GB counsel. In the background of the story, a personal relationship between her and Angonce is hinted at, and she is immensely sad at Angonces decision at the last second before their departure to stay behind, while she must go on with the other GBs until their return.
Kyry- A fire Agori, a servant to the GBs. He convinces Raanu to help him get samples of the Protodermis.
Raanu- A fire Agori who serves the Fire Lord. He is loyal to the Fire Lord, but he knows that the planet-wide war is not the answer, and he trusts the GBs to an extent. Kyry convinces him to help the GBs, and leave the Fire Lord. He is one of the first to see the newly built Mata Nui robot and the Baterra.
Surel- A minor character, member of the Ice Lord’s guard, and friend to Raanu. Because of this friendship, he lets Raanu and Kyry pass his post to get a Protodermis sample, against the Ice Lords orders.
***
I'm glad that Rigs liked my plot, because it's been developing in my head for a long time. I will accept and consider any criticism. I look forward to writing this story and hearing it made into a podcast.
General Story - The Element Lords are created in the GB’s lab(prologue). Spherus Magna is peaceful, and the Element Lords rule it, while the GB’s keep to themselves and their experiments, but they still keep a watchful eye on events. Protodermis is discovered, and the EL of Ice, to the GB’s surprise, claims it for himself. The GBs send ambassadors to the ELs(some of the main characters) to try to resolve the situation. But they are unsuccessful and the EL of Ice begins the war with the EL of Fire, and the others all follow. As the war escalates, 2 Agori are sent to collect a sample of the liquid. After testing, the GBs come to the conclusion of the Shattering. Angonce commissions the building of the Mata Nui robot, based on Invidior’s original design. Eventually, the shattering comes and the GBs all leave except for Angonce.
Now, this is going to be a more character driven story, the reason why the above plot may seem a bit sparse and plain. Here are character bios and what they will do:
The Element Lords - All 6 ELs, each with their own personalities.
Ice- Cold, harsh, and selfish. Cruel.
Fire- Impatient and brooding, yet cunning. His temper is mighty when roused.
Water- Quiet, always looking for the easy path and her own people’s interests.
Jungle- Usually agrees with Water, and doesn’t usually agree with Fire and Ice, as their elements can kill plants.
Rock- Simple, plain, and always states his intentions and what he thinks; easily influenced.
Sand- Has a shifting personality; he doesn’t like adverse situations. He is wary of Water, and tries to predict her thoughts.
They all are territorial and when the EL of Ice and Fire start the Core War, they all become enemies, some with unsteady alliances.
Invidior - A minor character who we see in the first episode, and who we later Melkor discovers of his tampering with Mata Nui; Insane and reclusive.
The Elder (Raeir) - The head of the GB counsel in their Tower. He is wise and calm at all times. Melkor resents him for his banishment, even though it was his plan.
Morkoth - The story’s main villain. He seems reckless and brash, but he is very cunning. He creates the ELs, and is held responsible for the war they start. He is banished, but we find out that this is all part of his plan. He has secretly wanted control of the GBs and SM, and he actually instigates the war, starting with the Fire and Ice EL. During the war(and his exile) he secretly controls events to suit his purposes. When the Great Spirit is being built, he secretly watches Invidior compromise the Mata Nui robot, and after Invidior has put a corruption glitch in the Makuta, he has an idea. He implants a virus in one particular Makuta, Teridax, Angonces original creation, that will not only make him susceptible to shadow, but make him able to form his complex Plan that will bring Mata Nui down. At one point late in the war’s progression(and his plan’s influence over events), Melkor kills The Elder GB for revenge, and fights Angonce after being challenged by him. He fakes his own death in the fight, so that he can enter Mata Nui as he is leaving the planet, so as to observe his devious and twisted handiwork, unknown to anyone. His aims, other than SM domination and the failure of the Mata Nui Robot, are hinted at, but mostly hidden through the whole story, so it can continue in Greg’s serials(Morkorth's that new GB in disguise, dontcha know).
Angonce- The story’s main character. He is youthful seeming(although all GBs are ancient). He is a prominent GB, very honest and morally driven. He is the one who commissions the building of the Mata Nui robot, and forges the Ignika, and tries to counteract Melkor’s devious actions. Angonce is a personal friend with many of the other characters. He is the GB that works the hardest to save SM, and tries to bring back peace. But eventually he turns his efforts to the Mata Nui robot to save what is left of SM. He challenges Melkor to combat after Melkor kills The Elder. When the shattering comes, he chooses at the last moment to stay behind to look after the world until Mata Nui and the other GBs return.
Heremus- A minor character; a GB that is assigned to build the Baterra, who inspirer’s Avi’s new name.
Avi(renamed Mata Nui)- An advanced AI(artificial intelligence) that Angonce created for a companion before the Core War; the counterpart of Makuta(this is where the “brother of Mata Nui” reference comes from). He is always seeking to help, and is cheerful. He helps Angonce forge the Ignika. When Angonce needs an intelligence to control the Great Robot, Avi volunteers. He is renamed by Angonce when Heremus say that Avi will become a the Mata Nui(Great Spirit) of the MU.
Makuta(renamed Teridax)- An advanced AI that Angonce created before the Core War; the counterpart of Avi(Mata Nui). Makuta is loyal to Angonce and does his bidding. He is often more quiet brooding about things than Avi, and will stay silent for a long time thinking about things. He helps Angonce forge the Ignika. He volunteers to be a helper in the new MU. He is tainted by Invidior and Melkor in cryosleep when waiting to be awakened in the MU.
Gaia- The female skrall that Angonce gave increased powers to. She lives with and serves the GBs, and is Angonces best and closest friend. He confides in her even more than his own 2 creations, Makuta and Avi. Because of the troubled times, and her great mental capacity, wisdom, and loyalty, she is offered a seat on the GB counsel. In the background of the story, a personal relationship between her and Angonce is hinted at, and she is immensely sad at Angonces decision at the last second before their departure to stay behind, while she must go on with the other GBs until their return.
Kyry- A fire Agori, a servant to the GBs. He convinces Raanu to help him get samples of the Protodermis.
Raanu- A fire Agori who serves the Fire Lord. He is loyal to the Fire Lord, but he knows that the planet-wide war is not the answer, and he trusts the GBs to an extent. Kyry convinces him to help the GBs, and leave the Fire Lord. He is one of the first to see the newly built Mata Nui robot and the Baterra.
Surel- A minor character, member of the Ice Lord’s guard, and friend to Raanu. Because of this friendship, he lets Raanu and Kyry pass his post to get a Protodermis sample, against the Ice Lords orders.
***
I'm glad that Rigs liked my plot, because it's been developing in my head for a long time. I will accept and consider any criticism. I look forward to writing this story and hearing it made into a podcast.
Last edited by Riglax on 10th March 2012, 9:41 am; edited 5 times in total