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TGC - Chapter 6

+2
Celu
Legolover-361
6 posters

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1TGC - Chapter 6 Empty TGC - Chapter 6 19th August 2011, 7:01 pm

Legolover-361

Legolover-361

MNI COO

MNI COO

(Insert fanfare here!)

Ta-da! I hath completed Chapter 6 of The Grand Creation. It's very long, I know: In fact it weighs in at over 5,100 words. While I'm camping with my Boy Scout troop (I will be gone all day tomorrow, 8/20/11), you guys can edit and tweak and whatnot; I have the original file still on my computer, so it's no big deal if you guys mangle up this chapter. Tongue

However, I would like the majority of heavy editing to hold off until drafts of earlier chapters are posted; this way we can edit not just to polish this chapter, but to make sure it fits with the rest of the story. Flow is a very big thing to worry about when writing, especially when a group of writers are writing individual chapters independently.

So, enjoy, edit, and when I get back on Sunday I'll help out some more.

Spoiler:



Last edited by Legolover-361 on 18th September 2011, 12:28 pm; edited 2 times in total

2TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 19th August 2011, 9:09 pm

Celu

Celu

MNI Board Chairman

MNI Board Chairman

Okay, well next time don't post until its edited and finalized.

Plus tge chapters go in one topic, in order as well. Wink

3TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 20th August 2011, 5:27 am

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Actually, I just let them post it in their own topics, so everyone can have a look. The "Chapters" Topics will be posted much later, but not right now. Probably will just open a new storyboard topic.

To be edited with review.

4TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 16th October 2011, 12:50 am

HahliNuva

HahliNuva

AC 3D Modelling Leader

AC 3D Modelling Leader

Here's my edit:

Spoiler:

5TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 16th October 2011, 10:48 am

Legolover-361

Legolover-361

MNI COO

MNI COO

Looks good, HN, though it seems you only added or tweaked a sentence here and there.

I have my own edits I'd like to make, actually, though they're small.

Spoiler:

6TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 16th October 2011, 5:43 pm

Rahkashi

Rahkashi

KanohiJournal Staff

KanohiJournal Staff

Wow.. That's fantastic. You're quite the writer.

7TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 18th March 2012, 3:43 pm

Legolover-361

Legolover-361

MNI COO

MNI COO

Some final, super-duper-small edits:

Spoiler:

8TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 22nd March 2012, 4:35 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Spoiler:

This is the approved version of The Grand Creation, Chapter 6.

9TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 29th March 2012, 12:16 pm

Legolover-361

Legolover-361

MNI COO

MNI COO

Spoiler:

I made a teensy-tiny edits to the section where Invidior and Casiria fight, nothing more.


EDIT: VLD's edits have been applied.

10TGC - Chapter 6 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 6 16th April 2012, 8:46 am

ValkyrieLightDragon

ValkyrieLightDragon

MNI Conceptual Artist

MNI Conceptual Artist

Heeere I come!

- "fire alight in in". There are two 'in's. We need only one.

- "rolled over, and laid there". I think 'lay' would be better than 'laid'. 'Laid' is generally used for things like: "I laid the egg back in its nest". Of course, that depends on what type of language you use. Not too necessary here, but just a suggestion.

- "Casira ran". 'Casiria'. Wrong spelling.

- "for her, nor for her petty little blows, nor for the". The first 'nor' should be 'neither'.



Well, that's all. Well written indeed. :3

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