Mata Nui Inc. | Plast!
Welcome to the Mata Nui Incorporated and Plast! Productions forums. We're two organizations composed of enthusiastic teenagers who want to entertain others. We all want to do stuff, whether it is making websites, creating publications, performing experimentations, and philosophize. Our current focus is to provide fun content for LEGO fans, while reviving interest in the BIONICLE fanbase as well. Here's a few links to get you to know us better:

Mata Nui Inc and Plast! -- Who are we and what we do

All our available content and publications can be found on KanohiJournal Publications (kanohijournal.com). More links on our specific projects can be found in the menu bar or the link that was provided above.

If you are looking to apply as a potential member, please contact us on riglax@gmail.com or bioran23@gmail.com. You can as well join the forums and contact one of the administrators for a job application.


Thank you,

The Administration
Mata Nui Inc. | Plast!
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.
A meeting was held on Saturday March 24, at approximately 10:00 PM EST. The highlights of the meeting have been posted at the aforementioned link. If you have time, please review the meeting highlights.
We need judges for Lesovikk's Hiatus, which has now returned as a fanon contest. Apply here!
Get cracking quickly for now Altum Bellum chapters can be claimed right here.
The Grand Creation serial, part of the Ancient Chronicle saga has been completed. Shortly the serial will be uploaded to KJP -- a big thank you to all the contributors!
WARNING: Custom domain http://mni.supernovafire.com expired. You can all return to the base domain, https://matanuiinc.forumotion.net.
Internet Explorer 9 Users, please turn on "Compatibility View" to fix a glitch that prevents the last few drop down menu options from showing normally.

You are not connected. Please login or register

TGC - Chapter 7

3 posters

Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1TGC - Chapter 7 Empty TGC - Chapter 7 25th March 2012, 1:55 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Spoiler:


It's long, around 6,000 words. Chapter 7 is meant to be the prologue for the climax of the serial, and has various plotlines related to the Great Beings' and Galintin that are introduced here.

And yes, Galotajun is Tajun.

2TGC - Chapter 7 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 7 25th March 2012, 3:48 pm

HahliNuva

HahliNuva

AC 3D Modelling Leader

AC 3D Modelling Leader

Spoiler:

3TGC - Chapter 7 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 7 25th March 2012, 8:29 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Spoiler:

This is the final edited version by me, which is also approved as the official one. As always, you guys can edit things before the finalization.



Last edited by Riglax on 18th April 2012, 4:25 pm; edited 1 time in total

4TGC - Chapter 7 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 7 17th April 2012, 5:48 am

ValkyrieLightDragon

ValkyrieLightDragon

MNI Conceptual Artist

MNI Conceptual Artist

Do-do-dooo, more correcting:

- ""Um, are feeling okay": 'are you feeling...'. 'You' was missing.

- "had seen a cloakless Great". Better if 'cloakless' be changed into 'cloak-less'.

- "stand down by certain person". 'by a certain...'

- "If he wanted to met them". 'meet' instead of 'met'.

- "with out going". Merge 'with' and 'out' together.

- "of work begone". 'be gone'.

- "Meanwhile, Ackar was gazing at the robot, pondering how could he stop them." I think you should make 'the robot' a little more specific. I was getting confused between Raier being referenced as the robot, or the actual prototype Mata Nui robot. Also: 'pondering how he could stop it', the robot isn't plural.

- ""Nothing's set int stone yet". Remove the 't' after 'in'.

- "pivoting the doors to fully open". 'To' isn't necessary.

- "grimace in a unpleasing". 'an' instead of 'a'.

- "had shapesifted". 'shapeshifted'.

- "Invidior begun to repeatedly slam Robur". 'began' rather than 'begun'.

- "evolved by shapesifting". Same mistake as above: 'shapeshifting'.

- "What the reason everyone one the planet". 'what was the reason everyone on the planet': 'was' was missing, and 'one' to 'on'.

- "would spent so much time". 'spend' instead of 'spent'.

- "Due to to the room's". Double 'to's in here. Remove one.

- "room rotated three sixty degrees". 'Three sixty' means it did a full rotation, returning back to its original spot, where I understand is nothing to see. Change it to 'one eighty'

- "Do you want to go this, Protasious"....is 'go' supposed to be 'do'?

- "celebrating, kept coming from". Comma is not necessary.

- "help by think he was". 'but' instead of 'by'


Awesome work, as usual. Smile

5TGC - Chapter 7 Empty Re: TGC - Chapter 7 18th April 2012, 4:26 pm

Riglax

Riglax

MNI CEO

MNI CEO

Spoiler:

Edited and re-approved.

Sponsored content



Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum